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    #1

    During his student days

    Have I made any mistakes?

    During his student days, Mark had deprived himself many things, which his middle-class fellow students took for granted. Mark didn't travel abroad, didn't go to concerts or restaurants and mostly bought second-hand clothes. He even made his own bread to save money.

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    #2

    Re: During his student days

    "deprive oneself of".
    No comma after "things": do you see why? I'd strike out the "which" as well: this is not formal prose.
    I'd put a comma after "restaurants". A string of nouns and such is "A, B and C", but these are clauses. Remember that punctuation marks not only logic, but pauses in breath. In speaking this passage aloud, would you take the same pause after "restaurants" as you would after "abroad"?
    Retired proofreader. ESL tutor. Not a teacher. Nor a typist, evidently.

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    #3

    Re: During his student days

    The comma after "things" should not be used because "his middle-class fellow students took for granted" is a restrictive clause.
    Now I when am reading aloud the sentence, I take a longer pause after "restaurants" than after "abroad."

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    #4

    Re: During his student days

    The commas should mark a pause of approximately equal length. As the Fowlers noted in the King's English, the comma, semicolon, colon, and full stop traditionally marked pauses of relative lengths 1:2:3:4. These guidelines don't apply so strictly today, but it's still true that in general the pauses do increase from "," to ";" to ":" to ".", and everyone gives them a characteristic length.

    What I am trying to say is this: Without the comma, there is no pause after "restaurants"; the "and" runs on in continuous speech.
    Last edited by abaka; 02-Sep-2019 at 17:35.
    Retired proofreader. ESL tutor. Not a teacher. Nor a typist, evidently.

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