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  1. Member
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    #1

    A husband was lying on the bed.

    This is a funny story.

    A husband was lying on the bed. He was going to pass away. Before his dead, he asked his wife for the truth “How many times do you lie me?”. The wife didn’t say anything that just only cried. The husband said “ If you don’t want to say, please explain to me (that) why are there three eggs and 300 dollars in the closet?”. The wife talked with soft voice “Once I betray you, I put a egg into the closet”. The husband breathed softly “How about 300 dollars?”. The wife cried louder than the last time “There are a lot of eggs, so I go to the market, sell and get 300 dollars”. The husband only screamed a sound and passed away.

    Please correct my mistakes.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    Quote Originally Posted by chunchuntthn View Post
    This is a funny story.

    A husband man was lying on the his deathbed.

    He was going to pass away.

    Before his dead death, he asked his wife for the truthful answer to “How many times do did you lie to me?” (no full stop here)

    The His wife didn’t say anything; that she just only cried.

    The Her husband said “If you don’t want to say tell/answer me, please explain to me (that) why there are there three eggs and 300 dollars in the closet?” (no full stop here)

    The His wife talked said with in a soft voice “Once Every time I betrayed you, I put an egg into the closet”.

    The Her husband breathed softly and asked “How about the 300 dollars?” (no full stop here)

    The His wife cried louder than the last time, and said “There are were a lot of eggs, so I go went to the market, sell sold them and get got 300 dollars”.

    The Her husband only screamed a sound and passed away.

    Please correct my mistakes.
    See above. It would have saved a lot of repetition of "His wife/Her husband" if you had given them names. I have separated each sentence out onto its own line so it's easier for you to read.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Member
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    #3

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    I have added names of both of them.

    Bob was Anna’s husband. He was lying on the deathbed. He was going to pass away. Before his death, he asked Anna for the truthful answers “How many times did you lie to me?” Anna didn’t say anything. She just cried. Bob said “If you don’t want to tell, please explain to me why there are three eggs and 300 dollars in the closet?” Anna said in a soft voice “Every time I betrayed you, I put a egg into the closet”. Bob breathed softly and said “How about the 300 dollars?” Anna cried louder than the last time and said “There were a lot of eggs, so I went to the market, sold them and got 300 dollars”. Bob just screamed and passed away.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    `Look at the word before "deathbed" in my original correction. The definite article there is unnatural. Also, did you not notice that I deleted the next sentence? It's unnecessary once you've already said "deathbed".

    You have failed to incorporate other corrections I made. Look very closely at post #2 and try again.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 02-Sep-2019 at 19:34.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Member
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    #5

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    `Look at the word before "deathbed" in my original correction. The definite article there is unnatural. Also, did you not notice that I deleted the next sentence? It's unnecessary once you've already said "deathbed".

    You have failed to incorporate other corrections I made. Look very closely at post #2 and try again.
    That was my wrong when I didn’t look back my paragraph that I rewrited.
    Bob was Anna’s husband. He was lying on the deathbed. Before his death, he asked Anna for the truthful answers to “How many times did you lie to me?” Anna didn’t say anything. She just cried. Bob said “If you don’t want to tell me, please explain to me why there are three eggs and 300 dollars in the closet?” Anna said in a soft voice “Every time I betrayed you, I put an egg into the closet”. Bob breathed softly and said “How about the 300 dollars?” Anna cried louder than the last time and said “There were a lot of eggs, so I went to the market, sold them and got 300 dollars”. Bob just screamed and passed away.

  6. Member
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    #6

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    Do you follow the advice as below?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I have separated each sentence out onto its own line
    (I'm not a teacher, not a native speaker.)
    Last edited by tree123; 05-Sep-2019 at 17:53.
    Please correct my writing if there's any grammatical solecism.

  7. Member
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    #7

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    Quote Originally Posted by tree123 View Post
    Do you follow the advice as below?
    I have separated each sentence out onto its own line
    Yes, I do. But, I don't understand what are you talking about?
    Last edited by chunchuntthn; 05-Sep-2019 at 19:11.

  8. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    Quote Originally Posted by chunchuntthn View Post
    A husband was lying on the bed.
    Quote Originally Posted by chunchuntthn View Post
    He was lying on the deathbed.
    Quote Originally Posted by chunchuntthn View Post
    He was lying on the deathbed.
    In post #2, I wrote "his deathbed". Please look at all my corrections again and stop making the same errors over and over again. I won't comment on your next attempt if it includes any errors I have already corrected.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    Perhaps:

    A man was lying on his deathbed. There was something he wanted to ask his wife....

    And:

    He said, "There's something I want to ask you. Please tell me the truth."

    Good luck with that one!
    Not a professional teacher

  10. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: A husband was lying on the bed.

    Most people would assume he asked the question before he died. When else could he ask it?
    Not a professional teacher

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