[Essay] CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A BAND SCORE FOR MY WRITHING

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Chanell789

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People eat more processedfood than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this?

In the last few decades,the consumption of ready-made meals has increased dramatically. For people withlong working hours, this is a fast and easy way to feed themselves. Precookedfood might be convenient and time-saving, but it is also unhealthy and can leadto several illnesses. This essay will discuss why people prefer processed mealsover fresh produce and what effects this might have on them.

Nowadays, most people areforced to spend long hours in the office, leaving little time for anythingelse, including the preparation of a healthy dinner. Most people find it moreconvenient to purchase a ready-made meal instead of spending more of their timepreparing it themselves. A very good example would be, where both parents needto work long hours and then still needs to prepare dinner, do homework with thekids and have family time, leaving no time for oneself.

Clearly, a processed dietis more convenient and time-efficient but also have its downside. Processedfood contains a lot of chemical preservatives, salt and sugar to keep it freshand editable for longer periods. This is very unhealthy in the long run and cancause diseases such as obesity, cholesterol, diabetes and even heart diseases.Recent studies in South Africa showed that almost 65% of people who only eattreated food tends to get one of these illnesses starting at an age as young as8 years old.

In conclusion, people witha busy lifestyle prefer the convenience of ready-made meals even though beingaware of the unhealthy side effects caused by this food.



 
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Tdol

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Have you proofread this? It needs quite a lot of spacing.
 

emsr2d2

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Welcome to the forum. :hi:

It appears you have pasted the entire text from somewhere else. When you use the paste function on this forum, it messes up the formatting and you lose some spaces between words and around punctuation. I have edited your first post and marked in red all the places where you need spaces.

Please use the "Edit Post" function to add those spaces and change the words back to black. Remember to click "Save" when you've done it. After that, we can look at the content.

Note that you misspelt "writing" in your title.
 
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Tarheel

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In addition to what Ems said, there are some problems with word choice. Also, I have a question. What is a band score?

If you want me to grade your writing you should know that I am not paid to do that.
:)
 

jutfrank

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We don't generally like to give band scores, I'm afraid.

All of your arguments seem to be based on a false equation of processed food with ready meals.
 
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Tdol

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emsr2d2

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Chanell789, please give us some indication that you have seen our responses. You have now missed the 24-hour window of opportunity to edit your post so you will have to put it all in again, making sure the spaces between words are there.
 

Tarheel

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One last thing. I suggest that you spell writing this way.
:)
 

emsr2d2

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Chanell789! Hello? Are you there? It's been two and a half days since you posted and you haven't acknowledged any of our responses.
 

jutfrank

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I'd give this guy an 8.5:

writhing.jpg
 
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