Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 6,667
    #1

    When Emma met John in a pub

    Would you please correct the mistakes in my text. This is just an exercise I wrote in one go.

    When Emma met John in a pub one Saturday evening, she could never have imagined he would become her husband. He was shy and, when he was speaking, it was mostly about politics, which Emma found boring. John was passionate about creating a better and more just society, arguing that sooner or later a revolution would take place. Emma found that idea amusing and pie in the sky. She believed that masses had become apathetic to demand a change. It was much easier to motivate them to go to watch a football match in their thousands than to organise them to demand better pay and more justice.

    But John was undeterred. He believed that future generations would develop a new political consciousness and not be exploited and manipulated as their parents had been. Emma smiled at him, admiring his idealism and revolutionary passion. He was like an excited boy talking about comic heroes who always conquer the evil. She had to admit that people like John were rare nowadays, almost like endangered species. The world where conformism had became a way of life for the majority needed people like him, brave and honest humans who didn't care about money or material things. She had read in school about Che Guevara, but he had been dead for decades, yet she felt his presence in John's company.

    The more time she spent with him, the more she was drawn to him. If someone had told her a few years before she would fall for a middle-aged, plain man with thinning hair at the crown, she would have roared with laughter, and here she was head over heels in love. John had neither a car nor a bicycle and lived in a small one-room flat, but all those things were irrelevant in comparison with his character.
    As they stood in a local register office to register their marriage, Emma was laughing inside. Her father owned a couple of companies and always voted Conservative, and here was his daughter becoming the wife of a revolutionary.
    THE END
    Last edited by Bassim; 11-Nov-2019 at 00:10.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 17,243
    #2

    Re: When Emma met John in a pub

    I suggest:

    She believed that the masses had become too apathetic to demand a change.
    Not a professional teacher

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •