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  1. keannu's Avatar
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    #1

    yelled/shouted/spoke loudly

    Source : self practice

    One experience that is memorable for her was her trip to Hawaii. She went to the Maui Island in Hawaiian Islands. It was a very beautiful place to stay, and famous for whales coming in spring time. She reserved/booked a whale watching tour to watch whales.
    When the tour started, her family was a little exhausted because of sea sickness. They nodded off a little while. But the people yelled/shouted/spoke loudly that whales were coming. At that time, one curious whale swam toward below the boat, and suddenly made a big spray near it. So that woke up her family.

    1. Which would be the best option between "yelled/shouted/spoke loudly"? Or none of them?
    2. Does "toward below" make sense?


  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: yelled/shouted/spoke loudly

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    Source : self practice

    One experience that is memorable for her was her trip to Hawaii. She went to the Maui Island in
    the Hawaiian islands. It was a very beautiful place to stay, and famous for whales coming in spring. time.

    She reserved/booked a whale watching tour
    . to watch whales.

    When the tour started, her family was a little exhausted because
    had a bad case of sea sickness so they nodded off for a little while. But the suddenly, some other people yelled/shouted /spoke loudly that whales were coming. At that time, One curious whale swam towards below the boat, and suddenly made a big spray near it and that woke up her family.

    1. Which would be the best option between "yelled/shouted/spoke loudly"? Or none of them?
    2. Does "toward below" make sense?

    See my changes above.

    1. "Yelled/shouted" are fine. "spoke loudly" doesn't work because we don't say "They spoke that ...". You could use "said loudly" but I don't think that would be enough to wake them up.
    2. No. It either swam towards the boat or below the boat.

    I don't like "made a big spray" but I admit I can't come up with an appropriate phrase for what happens when whales blow from their blowholes.

    Are you sure the family was already suffering from sea sickness when the tour started? That seems odd. Also, if they only woke up when the whale blew through its blowhole, they didn't wake up when the people shouted. You need to decide what woke them up.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. keannu's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: yelled/shouted/spoke loudly

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See my changes above.

    1. "Yelled/shouted" are fine. "spoke loudly" doesn't work because we don't say "They spoke that ...". You could use "said loudly" but I don't think that would be enough to wake them up.
    2. No. It either swam towards the boat or below the boat.

    I don't like "made a big spray" but I admit I can't come up with an appropriate phrase for what happens when whales blow from their blowholes.

    Are you sure the family was already suffering from sea sickness when the tour started? That seems odd. Also, if they only woke up when the whale blew through its blowhole, they didn't wake up when the people shouted. You need to decide what woke them up.

    One experience that is memorable for her was her trip to Hawaii. She went to the Maui Island in the Hawaiian islands. It was a very beautiful place to stay, and famous for whales coming in spring. time.

    1., Why is "the" before "Maui" omitted? If a noun is a unique, doesn't it need a definite article?

    2. For "springtime", I think we can use either "in spring" or "in springtime", but not "spring time". right?

    3. If whales appear only in spring, wouldn't "coming" or "appearing" be needed?

    4. Why did you delete "a little exhausted"? What do you mean by "had a bad case"?
    When the tour started, her family was a little exhausted because had a bad case of sea sickness so they nodded off for a little while.

    5. I think "toward" is the American way, while "towards", the British way, aren't they?
    One curious whale swam towards below the boat, and suddenly made a big spray near it and that woke up her family.


    Last edited by keannu; 19-Nov-2019 at 01:24.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: yelled/shouted/spoke loudly

    1.We say the Hawaiian Islands, but just Maui, Hawaii, or Oahu.
    2. Right.
    Not a professional teacher

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: yelled/shouted/spoke loudly

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    One experience that is memorable for her was her trip to Hawaii. She went to the Maui Island in the Hawaiian islands. It was a very beautiful place to stay, and famous for whales coming in spring. time.

    1., Why is "the" before "Maui" omitted? If a noun is a unique, doesn't it need a definite article?
    No, the name of an individual island does not require an article. (There are exceptions, such as "The Isle of Wight" in the UK.)

    2. For "springtime", I think we can use either "in spring" or "in springtime", but not "spring time". Right?
    Yes, or "in the spring".

    3. If whales appear only in spring, wouldn't "coming" or "appearing" be needed?
    In my opinion, no. If it's known for whales in spring, it's reasonable for the reader to assume that the whales aren't there the rest of the year, or at least not there in such numbers.

    4. Why did you delete "a little exhausted"?
    I deleted it because 1) "a little exhausted" doesn't make sense. "Exhausted" means "very tired" so it doesn't go with "a little", and 2) someone would need to have been suffering from seasickness for quite some time in order for it to make them so tired (probably from the vomiting). Your piece makes it sound as if they had only just got on the boat.

    What do you mean by "had a bad case"?
    When the tour started, her family was a little exhausted because had a bad case of sea sickness so they nodded off for a little while.
    Apologies. I omitted a word. I should have said "they had a bad case of". It means they were suffering from it badly. It still doesn't make sense to me that they already had seasickness when the tour started. They would have been on land before the tour started so how did they get seasick?

    5. I think "toward" is the American way, while "towards"
    is the British way, aren't they?
    One curious whale swam towards below the boat, and suddenly made a big spray near it and that woke up her family.

    There might be an AmE v BrE difference there. That doesn't change the fact that I don't find "toward(s) below" natural.

    Note my comments in blue above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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