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  1. #11
    Bassim is online now VIP Member
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    You have used "there are" and "there is" four times in your text, which is a sign of bad writing. Instead of writing "There are two chandeliers in the main room...", you can write "Two chandeliers hang in the main room." And then something like this, "The windows have a view of a beautiful garden. A tall mirror stands in the corner."


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  2. #12
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Yes it is a very fancy place. Could you please tell me how I can make my description better?
    A few well-placed adjectives might help. The first sentence is good, but after that there are problems. Perhaps: "I was really impressed with the place. I had never seen such ornate, expensive furnishings."

    I wouldn't mention the mirror in the corner without saying why I wanted to comment on it. What was remarkable about the windows that made it necessary to comment on them? What did you feel when you looked at the villa, both inside and outside?

    It is helpful to look at things from the reader's viewpoint.
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  3. #13
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    "Two chandeliers hang from the ceiling in the main room" works.
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  4. #14
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    I think of inversion: "In the middle of the living room is a staircase, which leads to the upstairs bedrooms."
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  5. #15
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    I'm having trouble picturing a staircase in the middle of the living room.

    I see. How would you describe a place like this?
    https://st.hzcdn.com/simgs/9dc1ed0a0...ome-design.jpg

    Maybe I should not have said living room.
    Last edited by alpacinoutd; 02-Dec-2019 at 09:48.

  6. #16
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    I see. How would you describe a place like this?
    https://st.hzcdn.com/simgs/9dc1ed0a0...ome-design.jpg

    Maybe I should not have said staircase.
    Very pretty! Perhaps:

    There is a winding staircase leading to (where else?) the second floor. It is a delight to the eye.
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  7. #17
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    Excuse me, I meant to say maybe I should not have used "living room".

  8. #18
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew Wai View Post
    "In the middle of the living room is a staircase, which leads to the upstairs bedrooms."
    Is this grammatically correct?

  9. #19
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    I am not a teacher.

  10. #20
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Re: As you open the door of the villa

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    I see. How would you describe a place like this?
    https://st.hzcdn.com/simgs/9dc1ed0a0...ome-design.jpg

    Maybe I should not have said living room.
    Right. That's the entrance hall—not the living room.

    Nobody wants that in the middle of their living room.

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