[General] Information-requesting Letter

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ayidh

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Hello, folks. Hope you have been very well.

Here is a piece of writing , or a letter requesting information from a company.
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With reference to your subsequent email containing the company’s request of information and photos of the previous architectural work undertaken in the village, and what procedures to (be)follow(ed) in this respect.

We would like to remind and apprise you of the WAQ-RSG bilateral agreement stipulates that the first party “WAQ” is the only authorized (empowered) body (agent) to release the information and photos of the ongoing and previous architectural work.

We suggest that you address the company and call/draw their attention to request those information and photos from”WAQ” by virtue of its ownership of the project of village.
 

ayidh

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Any comments?
 

Tarheel

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There is no question in the OP.

it's a letter.

The first sentence is not a sentence.

It is unclear what information is being requested.

Use fewer words! Say what you mean.

Don't use "those information" as it is not English.
 

ayidh

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There is no question in the OP.

it's a letter.

The first sentence is not a sentence.

It is unclear what information is being requested.

Use fewer words! Say what you mean.

Don't use "those information" as it is not English.

With reference to your subsequent email about the AWA company requesting a piece of information and photos of the previous architectural work that had been previously undertaken in the village, and what procedures to (be)follow(ed) in this respect.

We would like to remind and apprise you of the WAQ-RSG bilateral agreement stipulates that the first party “WAQ” is the only authorized (empowered) body (agent) to release such a piece of information and photos of the ongoing and previous architectural work.

We suggest that you call/draw AWA company’s attention to direct and address their request to ”WAQ” by virtue of its ownership of the project of village.
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Question:
How expressive is this letter?
Is it well-constructed?
Any comments or recommendations to be added to the letter?

Thanks heaps, Tarheel, for your help.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

requesting information about and photos of ....

The first "sentence" is not a sentence.

It is unclear what you are trying to say.
:-|
 

ayidh

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Thanks, Tarheel, for your patience.:cool:

Thank you very much , A company, for your kind subsequent email about the AWA company, which has requested from you a piece of information and photos of the previous project that had been previously undertaken in the Dali village, and the procedures you have asked to (be)follow(ed) to respond to the A company.

We would like to remind and apprise you of the WAQ-RSG bilateral agreement stipulates that the first party “WAQ” is the only authorized (empowered) body (agent) to release such a piece of information and photos of the ongoing and previous architectural work.

We suggest that you ( A company ) call/draw AWA company’s attention to direct and address their request to ”WAQ” by virtue of its ownership of the project of the village.
 

Tarheel

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The first "sentence" is still not a sentence, but it's longer than ever.

It seems that you don't want to say anything, and you do a very good job of that (saying nothing).

You need to start from scratch. Write shorter, simpler sentences. Aim for clarity.

I can't figure out what you're trying to say. Simplify!

I hope you're not going to send that to anybody.
 

ayidh

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With regard to your requesting us a piece of information on the previous project undertaken in the Dali village,
We would like to remind and apprise you of the bilateral agreement, which we had already signed off with you, stipulates that we cannot furnish you with your request unless the project has been finished off.
With our best wishes.
 

Tarheel

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With regard to your requesting some information from us on the previous project undertaken in the Dali village,
We would like to remind and apprise you of our agreement, which stipulates that we cannot honor your request until the project has been finished.
With our best wishes.

That's better!

(It doesn't need to be mentioned that a contract is a bilateral agreement. That's what they are anyway.)
 

ayidh

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Thanks, Tarheel.
That's better!

(It doesn't need to be mentioned that a contract is a bilateral agreement. That's what they are anyway.)
I am aware of, but our language (Arabic) is flowery and seems to be longer, stuffed with past participle and piled with chunks of phrases as you do know of my translation.
 

Tarheel

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Thanks, Tarheel.

I am aware of that, but our language (Arabic) is flowery and seems to be wordier, stuffed with past participles and piled with chunks of phrases as you know from my translation.

I'm not a translator, but it's usually not a good idea to translate directly from one language to another. (I know a little German, and sometimes you can translate directly from German to English, sometimes not. Also, you can't translate directly from Spanish to English. (Ask me why.).)
 
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emsr2d2

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With regard to your request[STRIKE]ing us[/STRIKE] for a piece of information on the previous project undertaken in the Dali village, we would like to remind [STRIKE]and apprise[/STRIKE] you of the bilateral agreement, which we had already signed off with you, and which stipulates that we cannot furnish you with [STRIKE]your request[/STRIKE] the information [STRIKE]unless[/STRIKE] until the project has been finished off.

[STRIKE]With our best wishes.[/STRIKE]

I agree entirely with Tarheel that you need to simplify everything. In short, you are trying to say "You recently asked us for some info about the Dali village project. We can't give you the information until the project is finished. You already agreed to that arrangement". Your actual letter should fall somewhere between the unnecessary wordiness of your attempt and my more succinct version.
 

Tarheel

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finish off

1. phrasal verb

If you finish off something you eat or drink the remainder so there is none left.

He finished off the donut. She finished off her coffee.

2. phrasal verb

If someone finishes off a person or animal that is badly injured or damaged they kill or destroy them.

They meant to finish her off, swiftly and without mercy.

(Collins)

{As I noted above, I got this from the Collins online dictionary. It is, however, not a word for word copy as I did it using my imperfect memory.}
 
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ayidh

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Thank you very much, emsr2d2 and Tarheel.

Appreciate your help and informative inputs.

Thump up!:up: Until the icon pops up:lol:
 

Tarheel

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emsr2d2

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I appreciate your help and informative [STRIKE]inputs[/STRIKE] input.

Note my corrections above. Please write complete sentences. In this context, "input" should be used uncountably.
 

ayidh

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Thanks for your help :up::up:
 
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