Who should I call 'Sir'.

[Ashraful Haque]

Usually in my country we call someone 'sir' only if they're senior in position. But in English movies I've seen that everyone calls everyone sir to show respect.

At the airport I asked for directions to a guy at the check-in counter:

"Excuse me sir, which way is the Jewel"

My question is, who can/should I call sir?

 

[SoothingDave]

It depends on where you are. In the US, it is common to address someone, especially a stranger whose name you do not know, as "sir" or "ma'am." It is a matter of being polite.

In the UK, "sir" has connotations of class, and I understand it is not used commonly among strangers.

 

[jutfrank]

No, we certainly do not use Sir to address strangers in the UK. I wouldn't say it has anything to do with class.

People who are at work (i.e., on duty) use it to address those who are not. For example, a waiter or shop assistant addressing a customer, a police officer or a paramedic addressing a member of the public, etc.

Also, schoolkids use it to address their teachers.

 

[emsr2d2]

I can honestly say that in my several decades on this planet, I have never addressed anyone as "Sir".

 

[jutfrank]

I can honestly say that in my several decades on this planet, I have never addressed anyone as "Sir".

Ditto. Unless I was being sarcastic.

And I don't particularly appreciate being addressed that way, either.

 

[SoothingDave]

And I don't particularly appreciate being addressed that way, either.

And why is that?

 

[jutfrank]

And why is that?

I don't really know exactly. I think partly because it sounds disingenuous, but also partly because it sounds deferential, which I don't like.

 

[Rover_KE]

No, we certainly do not use Sir to address strangers in the UK.

It doesn't do to speak for all members of a nationality. As I mention every time this topic is raised, I'm British, and am not alone in calling strangers sir, ma'am and miss all the time, and appreciating being called sir rather than mate by teenagers serving me on market stalls and in coffee shops etc.

I know I'm in a minority, and it has a lot to do with having spent two years in the USA in the last ten, but politeness costs nothing.

 

[Skrej]

It's unfortunately not as common in the US as it used to be, but it's still common. In certain regions of the US you could even call the use of sir or ma'am pervasive even in this day and age. For people who do it, it's also common to respond to questions by tagging on sir/ma'am, with short yes/no answers.

It also was far more common in the past to teach kids to address anyone of adult age that way, and so once you reached adulthood, you still did it as force of habit with strangers.

I remember being chastised once by my mother for simply responding with 'hello' to an adult male instead of 'hello, sir". It didn't matter that he was a close friend of the family: that was still far to familiar for someone of my age, in my mother's opinion.

The only other viable option for addressing adults was Mr./Mrs./Miss, if you happened to know their last name.

Simple words, but invaluable for fostering respect and courtesy. Good way to calm down someone who's irate, too.

 

[tedmc]

I think the practice is especially common in Asia to use "Sir" (or Ma'am) to address one's superior, teacher, customer or people in authority. The person being addressed feels good and respected. The addressor does not mind "lowering himself" if it sounds more courteous and endearing to the person being addressed. People are generally more class-conscious and hierarchy in society is observed.

Western societies tend to be more egalitarian and class distinction is discouraged. Designations are not used and people call each other by the first names. It is common in Australia where everyone is treated as equals, to the extent that bosses, superiors and university professors are called by their first names. I think it is not uncommon for children to call their parents the same too, which would be unheard of in Asian societies.

 

[Tarheel]

We don't call our parents by their first names here. And some us still believe in respecting our elders.

 

[emsr2d2]

I call my parents "Mum" and "Dad". My mum called her father by his first name most of the time, but used "Dad" occasionally too.

The idea of calling my own parents "Sir" and "Ma'am" makes me feel faintly nauseated. I'm aware that it happens in some American families but I always assume that those families have some kind of military connection, meaning that the parents are used to being addressed in such terms and insist on it from their children as well. If I heard a British child call their dad "Sir", I would (perhaps unfairly) assume they were from a harsh, controlling overly strict household - I might even suspect some level of mental abuse.

 

[Ashraful Haque]

I went through all the answers. I think I won't use 'sir' from now on.

Excuse me, which way is the Jewel" - sounds fine to me now.

 

[bubbha]

When I hear of children calling addressing their parents as "sir" or "ma'am", or on the other extreme, by their parents' first names, I get the feeling that something is amiss about their families.

In the US, I mostly hear "sir" and "ma'am" used by employees in the service industry, or by military personnel addressing officers. The use of "sir" and "ma'am" is more prevalent in the US South.

 

[TheParser]

My question is, who can/should I call sir?

NOT A TEACHER

Hello,

Some years back, I was on a bus when a young man boarded. The bus driver addressed him as "sir," and the young man angrily replied, "I'm not old!"

And one time I consulted a medical doctor for the first time. When I kept replying "Yes, sir" to him, he smiled but was clearly annoyed by asking, "Were you in the army?" Maybe he thought that I was emphasizing his age.

Store associates (clerks) often "sir" me. (I am 82 years old.) I prefer a "sir" to an insincere "May I help you, young man?"

 

[GoesStation]

The idea of calling my own parents "Sir" and "Ma'am" makes me feel faintly nauseated. I'm aware that it happens in some American families but I always assume that those families have some kind of military connection, meaning that the parents are used to being addressed in such terms and insist on it from their children as well.

Not at all. It's common in the South (which is geographically the southeast).

 

[GoesStation]

When I hear of children calling addressing their parents as "sir" or "ma'am", or on the other extreme, by their parents' first names, I get the feeling that something is amiss about their families.

Being Quakers (members of the Religious Society of Friends) hardly seems like something amiss. I grew up around Quakers who routinely addressed their parents by their first names. Some of them now have grandchildren by whom they're addressed the same way.

 

[jutfrank]

There's evidently significant cultural variance in the usage of Sir/Ma'am/Madam.