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Thread: The car crash

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    #1

    The car crash

    Have I made any mistakes? This text is just an exercise.

    The scene of the fatal car crash imprinted itself deeply on David's mind and won't go away. He would wake up screaming and bathing in sweat in the middle of night. His wife, Bea, was understanding and felt sorry for him, but as his nightmares went on night after night Bea had to move to another room. But David's screams went through the walls as if they were made of paper, and Bea's frustrations only grew. Once she was awake she could never go to sleep again, and she lay sleepless the whole night, turning and twisting in the bed. She was unable to concentrate on her work as her mind was in a constant daze.

    She pleaded with David to take sleeping pills, which unfortunately had no effect at all on the nightmares, which were returning every night with unfailing regularity. David was frustrated as she was, but could do nothing to stop them. Not even cognitive therapy, which he underwent for a few months, could chase away his tormentors.

    Six months later, Bea had had enough and filed for a divorce. But once she left their flat for good, a miracle happened, and David was able to sleep peacefully for the first time. His nightmares never returned. He was pondering on the connection between his wife's leaving and the nightmares disappearance, but was unable to understand it.

    One day he sat with his friend Tom in a cafe and told him about his plight. Tom was not astonished at at all, and gave David this explanation. "You killed that man's wife with your car, and the spiritual world took a revenge on you by taking your wife from you. You're level now."

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: The car crash

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Have I made any mistakes? This text is just an exercise.

    The scene of the fatal car crash imprinted itself deeply on David's mind and won't go away. He would wake up screaming and bathing in sweat in the middle of night. His wife, Bea, was understanding and felt sorry for him, but as his nightmares went on night after night Bea had to move to another room. But David's screams went through the walls as if they were made of paper, and Bea's frustrations only grew. Once she was awake she could never go to sleep again, and she lay sleepless the whole night, turning and twisting in the bed. She was unable to concentrate on her work as her mind was in a constant daze.

    She pleaded with David to take sleeping pills, which unfortunately had no effect at all on the nightmares, which were returning every night with unfailing regularity. David was frustrated as she was, but could do nothing to stop them. Not even cognitive therapy, which he underwent for a few months, could chase away his tormentors.

    Six months later, Bea had had enough and filed for a divorce. But once she left their flat for good, a miracle happened, and David was able to sleep peacefully for the first time. His nightmares never returned. He was pondering on the connection between his wife's leaving and the nightmares disappearance, but was unable to understand it.

    One day he sat with his friend Tom in a cafe and told him about his plight. Tom was not astonished at at all, and gave David this explanation. "You killed that man's wife with your car, and the spiritual world took a revenge on you by taking your wife from you. You're level now."
    I've highlighted where you need to make changes.

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    #3

    Re: The car crash

    I believe the corrections should be like this.

    1. wouldn't go away
    2. bathed in sweat
    3. in the middle of the night
    4. as his nightmares went on night after night, Bea had to move
    5. David was frustrated as she was but could do nothing to stop
    6. nightmare's disappearance but was unable to understand it
    7. One day, he sat with his friend
    8. and the spirit world took revenge on you.
    Last edited by Bassim; 18-Jan-2020 at 12:55.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: The car crash

    Yes, except for nightmares. I would use the plural and insert the apostrophe at the end.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: The car crash

    I would say:

    David was as frustrated as she was


    Cool story!
    Not a professional teacher

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