Mark's parents had ambitious plans

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Bassim

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Have I made any mistakes?

Mark's parents had ambitious plans for him and wanted him to take over their business, but when he grew up, he had different ideas. He told them he didn't want to become like themselves, obsessed with money and financial gains. He wanted to use his mind to think rather then to gather dead things. This lead to a split with his family and a lot of animosity that were never resolved. In the end, Mark ended up living in a cottage by the sea he built himself, subsisting on what he could catch in the water and on the food people gave to him. He avoided even to pass by his parent's mansion, whose thick walls had suffocated him and made him feel as if in a gilded cage.
 
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teechar

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Mark's parents had ambitious plans for him and wanted him to take over their business, but when he grew up, he had different ideas. He told them he didn't want to become like them, [STRIKE]themselves,[/STRIKE] obsessed with money and financial gains. He wanted to use his mind to think rather [STRIKE]then[/STRIKE] than to gather dead things [ That's unnatural]. This [STRIKE]lead[/STRIKE] led to a [STRIKE]split[/STRIKE] falling out with his family and a lot of animosity that were never resolved. In the end, Mark ended up living in a cottage by the sea which he built himself, subsisting on what fish he could catch [STRIKE]in the water[/STRIKE] and on the food people gave/donated to him. He avoided even [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] passing by his parent's mansion, whose thick walls had suffocated him and made him feel as if in a gilded cage.
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Bassim

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Would " to gather material things" be natural?
 

teechar

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No. Try: "rather than to worry about making money".
 

NamelessKing

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Nuah a teacher.

When you say "his parent's mansion," that means the mansion belonged to only one of his parents. If it belonged to both of them, say "his parents' mansion."
 
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teechar

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I see. While I appreciate that you only meant a bit of light-hearted fun by it, in future please do not write non-standard English. It makes learners think that such words and phrases are acceptable, and of course, they're not.
 

Rover_KE

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You have a history of this silly practice. If you persist, you face a ban.
 
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