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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    After Professor Collins failed

    Have I made any mistakes?

    After Professor Collins failed to turn up at his work at the university, his colleague Andy, went to his flat, concerned for the old man's health. There was no answer when Andy rang the doorbell, and he had to contact the landlord, who opened the door with a master key. They found Professor Collins bound and gagged on the floor and in agony. He was beaten on his face, his eyes were swollen and the congealed blood stood on his forehead.

    He told Andy he had been attacked by three men wearing face masks and dark clothes, who assaulted him as soon as he stepped outside his door. They shoved him inside and put the gun to his head, demanding his laptops and memory sticks. They wanted him to divulge the passwords to his email accounts, and when he refused, they hit him with the gun in the head. When they got what they wanted, they disappeared, without taking any valuables.

    Professor Collins was in no doubt that the attack had to do with the book he was writing about the Prime Minister, and about which he had already talked in the media, calling it revelatory. Of course, nobody accuses the Prime Minister of anything, but the fact is that Professor Collins was the fourth author who had been attacked in the similar way. Pure coincidence or not, but all four were writing about the same politician.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: After Professor Collins failed

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Have I made any mistakes?

    After Professor Collins failed to turn up at his work at the university, his colleague Andy, went to his flat, concerned for the old man's health. There was no answer when Andy rang the doorbell, and he had to contact the landlord, who opened the door with a master key. They found Professor Collins bound and gagged on the floor and in agony. He was beaten on his face, his eyes were swollen and the congealed blood stood on his forehead.

    He told Andy he had been attacked by three men wearing face masks and dark clothes, who assaulted him as soon as he stepped outside his door. They shoved him inside and put the gun to his head, demanding his laptops and memory sticks. They wanted him to divulge the passwords to his email accounts, and when he refused, they hit him with the gun in the head. When they got what they wanted, they disappeared, without taking any valuables.

    Professor Collins was in no doubt that the attack had to do with the book he was writing about the Prime Minister, and about which he had already talked in the media, calling it revelatory. Of course, nobody accuses the Prime Minister of anything, but the fact is that Professor Collins was the fourth author who had been attacked in the similar way. Pure coincidence or not, but all four were writing about the same politician.
    Take a look at the underlined parts.

  3. VIP Member
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    #3

    Re: After Professor Collins failed

    Would these sentences be OK?

    1. After Professor Collins failed to turn up at the university, his colleague Andy, went to his flat, concerned for the old man's health.
    2. His face was beaten, his eyes were swollen and congealed blood stained his forehead.
    3. They shoved him inside and put a gun to his head...
    4. who had been attacked in a similar way
    5. Pure coincidence or not, but they all four were writing about the same politicians.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: After Professor Collins failed

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Would these sentences be OK?

    1. After Professor Collins failed to turn up at the university, his colleague, Andy, went to his flat, concerned for the old man's health.
    2. His face was beaten, his eyes were swollen and congealed blood stained his forehead.
    3. They shoved him inside and put a gun to his head...
    4. who had been attacked in a similar way
    5. Pure coincidence or not, but they all four were writing about the same politicians.
    Perhaps:

    He was bruised and bloody

    And:

    They beat him on the head with the gun

    I might say they were wearing ski masks (if that's what I meant), however face masks doesn't work for me. (When you put a mask on where do you put it?)
    Not a professional teacher

  5. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #5

    Re: After Professor Collins failed

    He had been beaten?

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