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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    Hannah sat alone in a cafe

    Have I made any mistakes?

    Hannah sat alone in a cafe, drinking her cappuccino, and a thought occurred to her. What a bore I am! No wonder people avoid me when I mostly talk about my health problems and my broken relationships. Nobody likes self-absorbed idiots who gaze at their navels all the time. Her eyes swept over the patrons, who were mostly students, and she wished she could be back in time when she was a student. How innocent and happy that time felt compered with now when she has to cope with dozens of problems at the same time, and the solution is nowhere in sight.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Hannah sat alone in a cafe

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    she could be back in time when she was a student.
    Rewrite that.

  3. VIP Member
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    #3

    Re: Hannah sat alone in a cafe

    Honestly, I am not sure about the above sentence.

    Would this version be OK?

    "and she wished she could be back in time when she had been a student."

    Or maybe this one?
    "and she wished she could be back in time when she had studied."

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Hannah sat alone in a cafe

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    "and she wished she could be go back in time to when she had been a student."
    .

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Hannah sat alone in a cafe

    Or:

    go back in time to when she was a student
    Not a professional teacher

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Hannah sat alone in a cafe

    Perhaps:

    How innocent and happy she was then compared to now when she has to cope with dozens of problems with no solutions in sight.
    Not a professional teacher

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