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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    After the end of war in Bosnia

    Have I made any mistakes?

    After the end of war in Bosnia, Zoran, who had been accused of killing dozens of villagers in a massacre in 1993, managed to cover his tracks and moved to Australia, where some of his family members lived. He found a job as a caretaker in a primary school in Melbourne. He lived a peaceful life and was known as a shy person who didn't talk much about his past. Who knows if he would have ever faced justice, if it had not been for another Bosnian refugee, who one day brought his child to the school and recognised Zoran in the corridor. The same day the police were at his door to inform him he was arrested for the war crimes he committed in his homeland.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: After the end of war in Bosnia

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    who one day brought his child to the school and recognised Zoran in the corridor.
    That implies that the refugee doesn't usually take (not "bring") his child to school. Is that what you intended?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    The same day the police were at his door to inform him he was [missing word] arrested for the war crimes he [missing word] committed in his homeland.

  3. VIP Member
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    #3

    Re: After the end of war in Bosnia

    No, teechar. He takes his child every day to school. Should I delete "one day"?

    Would this sentence be OK?

    The same day the police were at his door to inform him he was being arrested for the war crimes he had committed in his homeland.
    Last edited by Bassim; 11-Feb-2020 at 22:09.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: After the end of war in Bosnia

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    No, teechar. He takes his child every day to school. Should I delete "one day"?
    No. There's a nice combination of tenses in English for that kind of situation. Try to work it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    The same day the police were at his door to inform him he was now arrested for the war crimes he had committed in his homeland.
    No, "now" is not the right word. Try again.

  5. VIP Member
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    #5

    Re: After the end of war in Bosnia

    I am not sure if I can write properly the first sentence.
    Would this be OK?
    "who had one day brought his child to the school and recognised Zoran in the corridor."
    In the second sentence I believe I should write "being".

  6. teechar's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: After the end of war in Bosnia

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I am not sure if I can write properly the first sentence.
    Would this be OK?
    "who had one day brought his child to the school and recognised Zoran in the corridor."
    I was thinking of the combination of the past continuous and the past simple.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    In the second sentence I believe I should write "being".
    Correct.

  7. VIP Member
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    #7

    Re: After the end of war in Bosnia

    Would this version be OK?
    "who one day was bringing his child to the school and recognised Zoran in the corridor."

  8. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: After the end of war in Bosnia

    As I indicated in post #2, I would much prefer "take" to "bring" in that kind of sentence. Otherwise, OK.

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