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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    Andy had a nightmare in the night

    Have I made any mistakes?

    Andy had a nightmare in the night before his job interview. Someone pushed him overboard into the cold sea. He was drowning as he found himself deep in the dark water. When he surfaced, he watched the ship move away. Andy shouted, but his voice was muffled by the sound of waves. His eyes swept the horizon, but he saw no sign of civilisation. The grey sky and the stormy sea was an immense mass. He panicked, and as the water entered his mouth, Andy choked. He woke up coughing and had a premonition he was going to fail.

    A few hours later, the interviewer was observing him carefully and then said, "At least you could have shaved," the man said. "We like our workers to be always well-groomed."
    Andy blushed and covered his face with his hands. That was unforgivable. How had he missed to shave? What had he looked in the mirror?
    "I'm so sorry," he managed to say. "I slept badly. I hadn't seen properly my face."
    "It's all right, young man," said the interviewer. "We'll not hold your unshaven face against you."

  2. teechar's Avatar
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      • Iraq
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    • Join Date: Feb 2015
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    #2

    Re: Andy had a nightmare in the night

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Have I made any mistakes?

    Andy had a nightmare in the night before his job interview. He dreamt that someone pushed him overboard into the cold sea. He was drowning as he found himself deep in the dark water. When he surfaced, he watched the ship move away. Andy shouted, but his voice was muffled by the sound of waves. His eyes swept the horizon, but he saw no sign of civilisation. The grey sky and the stormy sea was were/formed an immense mass. He panicked, and as the water entered his mouth, Andy choked. He woke up coughing and had a premonition he was going to fail the interview.

    A few hours later, the interviewer was observing him carefully and then said, "At least you could have shaved." the man said. "We like our workers to be always well-groomed."
    Andy blushed and covered his face with his hands. That was unforgivable. How had did/could he missed forget to shave? What Had he not looked in the mirror?
    "I'm so sorry," he managed to say. "I slept badly last night and went out in a rush this morning". I hadn't seen properly my face."
    "It's all right, young man," said the interviewer. "We'll not hold your unshaven face against you."
    .

  3. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
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      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
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    #3

    Re: Andy had a nightmare in the night

    teechar,
    I started directly with "Someone pushed him overboard into the cold sea" because I believe a reader would understand that was Andy's dream because I mentioned that he had a nightmare. Do you really believe that I need to write "He dreamt that..."

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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    #4

    Re: Andy had a nightmare in the night

    I prefer it with the addition.

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