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  1. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
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      • Bosnian
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    #1

    Bob lay on his back

    Have I made any mistakes?

    Bob lay on his back with his hands under his head, dwelling on his failures: two bankruptcies, three broken marriages, a stay in prison for one year for tax fraud, lost contact with his parents, and many other troubles. Where should a man in his fifties find the energy to start anew? he asked himself. He was losing passion for life and didn't know how to find it again. Not even the biggest lottery win would make him happy. Bob stared at the dark ceiling, occasionally lit by the lights of passing cars. How many nights he had spend driving around town and having fun in his Porsche! Nowadays he didn't even have a bicycle.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • Iraq
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    • Join Date: Feb 2015
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    #2

    Re: Bob lay on his back

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Have I made any mistakes?
    lost contact with his parents,
    That's out of step with the other ones.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    He was losing his passion for life and didn't know how to find it again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Not even the biggest lottery win would make him happy.
    That would make me very happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Bob stared at the dark ceiling,
    What ceiling?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Nowadays But now, he didn't doesn't even have a bicycle.

  3. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
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      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
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    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 6,886
    #3

    Re: Bob lay on his back

    I should have written "broken contact with his parents."
    I should have used "a" instead of "the".
    Bob stared at a dark ceiling.

  4. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 10,160
    #4

    Re: Bob lay on his back

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I should have written "broken contact with his parents."
    No, "losing contact with his parents".

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I should have used "a" instead of "the".
    Bob stared at a dark ceiling.
    Ah, now I get what you mean. Try the following:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Bob stared at the dark ceiling, occasionally lit by the reflection of headlights of from passing cars.

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