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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    After being with a religious sect

    Have I made any mistakes?

    After being with a religious sect for more than ten years, Tim decided to quit when it dawned on him that the charismatic leader whom he adored was nothing but a fraud - a manipulator, who used people to enrich himself. Tim felt he had wasted ten years of his life for nothing and was angry mostly at himself. How could I have allowed myself to be taken in? I should've listen to the voice of reason, he thought as he was looking at his empty bank account. He was damaged by his experience and would need years until he start having trust in people again.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: After being with a religious sect

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I should've listen to the voice of reason,
    Fix that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    He was damaged by his experience and would need years until he start having trust in people again.
    Rephrase those.

  3. VIP Member
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    #3

    Re: After being with a religious sect

    Would these sentences be OK?

    I should've listened to the voice of reason,
    He was damaged by his experiences and needed years before he could trust people again.
    Last edited by Bassim; 16-Feb-2020 at 19:01.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: After being with a religious sect

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I should've listened to the voice of reason,
    OK.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    He was damaged by his experiences and needed years before he could trust people again.
    I would use "by that experience".

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: After being with a religious sect

    I might say:

    It would take years before I can start trusting in people again.

    Or:

    It will take years before I can start trusting in people again.

    Possible deletions. One word in one sentence. Two words in another.
    Not a professional teacher

  6. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #6

    Re: After being with a religious sect

    The jump from he to I is sudden and hard to follow. You could use direct speech or change the pronouns for me.

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: After being with a religious sect

    Try:

    the charismatic leader he adored

    And:

    Tim felt he had wasted ten years of his life and was angry mostly at himself.
    Not a professional teacher

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