taking the upper hand

[alpacinou]

Hello

First, imagine this situation: You are going out with a girl. You don't call her for a few days. Then when she contacts you, you start complaining about the fact the she hasn't got in touch with you for a few days. In fact, she should be complaining because you did not get in touch with her. But you do that so as to prevent her from complaining.

In my language, we have a saying that literary translates to "taking the upper hand". It means in some situations, the person who is to be blamed starts complaining and attacking other people to deflect responsibility.

-Boy: Why didn't you call me for three days?
-Girl: You are taking the upper hand. I should be asking you this question not the other way around.

Is there an idiom in English for a situation like that?

 

[emsr2d2]

"You are taking the upper hand" doesn't work there. You might hear "You're a fine one to talk! Why didn't you ring me?!"

There's also "That's the pot calling the kettle black" - it sort of works in your scenario but it would work better after a specific insult.

 

[SoothingDave]

In English there is the idea of a person "having the upper hand," meaning that they have the advantage. They are in the superior position. They hold control.

We don't accuse others of "taking" it as you describe. One either holds it or does not.

 

[alpacinou]

I know upper hand has another meaning in English.

I was just translating the idiom from my language to English.

This is expression is sort of like "preemptively attacking someone before they start attacking you".

It means you expect them to attack you so you attack first. I don't mean physical attack.

 

[GoesStation]

This [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] expression's meaning is sort of like "preemptively attacking someone before they start attacking you".

In American English, that's getting the jump on someone.

 

[probus]

We also have the saying "The best defense is a good offense." That embodies the idea of deflecting criticism by pre-emptively attacking another person.

 

[TheParser]

-Boy: Why didn't you call me for three days?
-Girl: You are taking the upper hand. I should be asking you this question not the other way around.

Is there an idiom in English for a situation like that?

NOT A TEACHER




Boy: Why haven't you called me in the last three days?

Girl: You beat me to the punch, dude! I was just preparing to call you today and ask the same question!

("beat someone to the punch" is the same as "get the jump on someone," as GoesStation reminded us.)

 

[alpacinou]

NOT A TEACHER




Boy: Why haven't you called me in the last three days?

Girl: You beat me to the punch, dude! I was just preparing to call you today and ask the same question!

("beat someone to the punch" is the same as "get the jump on someone," as GoesStation reminded us.)

Thanks.

It seems to be more about achieving something sooner than others.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/beat (someone) to the punch