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  1. keannu's Avatar
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    #1

    Electronic device

    I'm trying to practice various topics.

    Topic : Electronic device
    Question : Tell me about an electronic device that you own. Describe the gadget in as much detail as you can.

    Answer: I have a smartphone.

    Smartphones are the main personal electronic device these days.
    The shape of many smartphones has some standard and mine is no exception.
    Mine has a LED screen on the front side and on its back side, there are multiple cameras to take a picture.

    To turn on my smartphone, I should use my fingertips to make it recognize me.
    After unlocking the phone screen, I can find the icons I use on the home screen.
    They allow me to access apps easily as shortcuts.

    Smartphones have many functions such as playing the music, showing websites I want to visit. And my smartphone has a sensor that records my healthcare information. It records the number of my heartbeats and how many steps I make in a day. Nowadays, people carry their own smartphones 24/7.
    Some people even use smartphones in the bed to record their sleeping time in order to manage their health.

    Smartphones are a very important electronic device in these days.
    Mine is no exception. I really make good use of it.

    ==========================
    If I have made any mistakes, please correct them.
    Last edited by keannu; 24-Feb-2020 at 14:57.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Electronic device

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    I'm trying to practice various topics.

    Topic : Electronic device
    Question : Tell me about an electronic device that you own. Describe the gadget in as much detail as you can.

    Answer:
    I have a smartphone.

    Smartphones are the main personal electronic device these days.
    The shape of many smartphones has some standard and
    mine is no exception.
    Mine has a LED screen on the front side and on its back side, there are multiple cameras to take a picture.

    To turn on my smartphone, I should use my fingertips to make it recognize me.
    After unlocking the phone screen, I can find the icons I use on the home screen.

    They allow me to access apps easily as shortcuts.

    Smartphones have many functions such as playing the music,showing websites I want to visit. And my smartphone has a sensor that records my healthcare information. It records the number of my heartbeats and how many steps I make in a day.Nowadays, people carry their own smartphones 24/7.
    Some people even use smartphones in the bed to record their sleeping time in order to manage their health.

    Smartphones are a very important electronic device in these days.
    Mine is no exception. I really make good use of it.

    ==========================
    If I have made any mistakes, please correct them.
    Above, I have marked in green all the sentences that actually answer the question, and I have marked in red the sentences that don't. Concentrate on the question. It doesn't ask you to describe smartphones in general or to say what other people do with their smartphones. It specifically asks about your device.

    Note that I haven't made any corrections yet. When you rewrite your piece so that it contains only information about your smartphone, I'll correct and comment.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Electronic device

    Try:

    I'm practicing writing about various topics.

    The shape of smartphones has some standard

    Yes. They fit in your hand.

    To turn on my smartphone I should use my fingertips to make it recognize me.

    I'm not sure about the use of "should" there. Do you mean you're supposed to but you don't?
    Not a professional teacher

  4. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    English Teacher
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      • British English
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      • UK
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    • Join Date: Nov 2002
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    #4

    Re: Electronic device

    How about I make really good use of it?

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