The first thing to remember is that 11-year-old kids are not big fans of any kind of explanation. I wouldn't actually bother trying to explain anything. Just tell them how to say what you want them to say. Make sure that the function is very clear, give them some sentence frames, and then let them loose with practice.
But, to address your questions ...
Right. That's why this is a near-useless example. Don't use it.
Right. See my comment above. This one is even worse than near-useless, actually. It's also unnatural. We don't tend to use couldn't for suggestions like this. Use Shall instead.- We need to make an assignment for class tomorrow. Couldn't we work on it together?
Same reason for last example.
Right. But you don't really need to mention that. Just tell them to use Can. You might want to tell them that they can use May too, if they want to be deferential, but you really don't need to mention Could.- Can I ask you a question?
In my view could or may would both be correct as well.
I'm sorry you have such a poor textbook to work with. Which one is it?Note: these are all textbook sentences said to be correct. Especially when sentences start with couldn't I don't really know how to explain to kids why this, and only this, should be the correct answer.

English Teacher