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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    A GIRL IN A WHITE DRESS Part three

    Would you please correct the mistakes in the third part of my short story?

    We all sat in silence, listening to the old man, who was talking calmly, occasionally puffing on his pipe. I knew he was telling the truth, although I noticed that some of the refugees shook their heads, as if doubting his words, but he had no reason to lie or exaggerate. His story came from decades of experience, from the man who had lived a real life and not from someone who had spent decades in his office writing theoretical works about how life should look like.

    “The truth is, boys, the Swedes are smarter than we are. Look at ourselves. I came here because of injustices; you came because of the killings and destruction. We could have been richer then the Swedes, but after Communism collapsed, our people chose the leaders who would lead them not to prosperity but to another war, to more destruction and misery. They ignored Markovic who wanted to take them to the EU. Now they can cheer Milosevic, Tudjman and Izetbegovic and then send their sons and daughters to front lines, where they are killed in their thousands. They are fighting for some imaginary borders and states until the Americans arrive and order them to stop, but they are not in hurry.

    “Just remember what had happened in our country during the Second World War. How much suffering our people had to endure, how many young lives had been destroyed in the fight against the Nazis! But while our industry and towns were erased to the ground by the German bombs, the smart Swedes were making a big business with Adolf, selling him iron ore, ball bearings, military equipment and other products while officially the country was neutral. And after the war, while we were building monuments to our fallen heroes, they built factories and exporting their products around the world.
    “Do you remember the Vietnam War? Guess whose gun some of the American soldiers had used to kill the Viet Cong! It was the Swedish Carl Gustav submachine gun because it was more reliable and accurate then American rifles. You see how intelligent people make money. While the Swedish youth were marching through the streets, demanding the end of the war, their own government were earning millions from the same war and probably hoping the war would go on so that they could make more profit.”

    The old Yugoslav came to talk with us every day during our stay in the sports hall. I listen to him carefully, soaking up his every word. The more I listened to him, to more I realised my own naivety. I was twenty-eight, but after I heard him, I felt like a child. I understood that the words democracy, ethics, moral, justice and others are just empty expressions that can be used and manipulated according to the wishes of those in power. I felt sorry for my people in Bosnia, many of whom would perish having hopes that the world was going to stop the war. If I could reach them, I would shout at them “Nobody is going to help you. The empty phrases will not save your lives.”

    I moved from one refugee camp to another across the Sweden, but the words I heard from the old Yugoslav stayed in my mind all the time. The more I pondered on them, the more I was intrigued to understand the country and the mentality of its citizens. There is no better way to learn a foreign language than talking with the natives, so I used every opportunity to talk with people. I not only learnt new words and phrases from them but also the way they thought and behaved. I was like a sociologist gathering information for his study, although I hadn’t taken any notes nor had a wish to write any books. It took me about two years to comprehend that the Swedish Social Democratic Party succeeded where other governments all over the world failed. Without using the military, police, courts and other repressive measures, the Party had in a short time managed to mould the minds of millions and turn them into obedient citizens who would never dream of opposing it or rebelling.
    TO BE CONTINUED
    Last edited by Bassim; 03-Mar-2020 at 08:59.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: A GIRL IN A WHITE DRESS Part three

    Say:

    We all sat in silence and listened to the old man as he talked calmly, occasionally puffing on his pipe.

    Sometimes we shake our heads not because we disbelieve something but because it's all too true (and we wish it wasn't).
    Not a professional teacher

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: A GIRL IN A WHITE DRESS Part three

    Perhaps:

    His story came from decades of experience, from a man who had lived a real life and not from someone who had spent decades in his office writing theoretical works about how life should be lived.
    Not a professional teacher

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: A GIRL IN A WHITE DRESS Part three

    Second paragraph.

    Look at us. I came here because of injustices. You came here because of killings and destruction. We could have been richer than the Swedes, but after Communism collapsed our people chose leaders who would lead them not to prosperity but to another war, to more destruction and misery. They ignored Markovic, who wanted take them into the EU. Now they can cheer Milosevic, Tudjman, and Izetbegovic and send their sons and daughters to the front lines ....
    Not a professional teacher

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