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    #11

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    Thank you very much for your help dear Tarheel. I have edited the entire text according to your statements. How does it look now?

    "Nations Getting Together


    Well-known competitions such as football World Cup are obligatory to soften international relations and release friendly feelings safely. They are considered as a kind of bridge connecting different nations to each other. However, I totally disagree with this opinion. Aggressive atmosphere of those events often end in a complete chaos.

    Firstly, there have been riots before, during and after soccer matches. That is probably a result of the overcompetitive nature of such events.
    For example, the referees are briben to favor one team over the other in a lot of tournaments because of the pressure to win. However, it does not help build amity. People should understand that creating strong bonds depend not so much on what you do but how you do it. When people become aware of the main goal of those events, which is getting together and spending quality time, then sporting events may serve the purpose of bringing people together.

    Secondly, that sort of occasions may cause even a brawl. Since people may not accept the fact that their nation's team could be beaten in a sporting event, after or during the event, they can attack to opponent fans and players. When these kinds of terrible things happen, it often ends up with political problems between related countries.

    In conclusion, when it comes to international occasions, people may become much more ambitious, and it is likely to end up with huge problems. I hope that in future, people will support their nations or teams without being combative. If we could be successful in putting friendship over our individual or national ambitions, then those popular events will have beneficial effects on easing international tensions."
    Last edited by Erbab; 06-Mar-2020 at 21:19.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #12

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    Well-known competitons such as [the] football World Cup are obligatory to soften international relations and release friendly feelings safely.

    I'm not sure what you mean by "obligatory" there, but I'm pretty sure you used it wrong. Also, I'm not sure what it means to release friendly feelings safely..
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    #13

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    "Well-known competitions such as football World Cup are vitally important to soften international relations and release nationalistic feelings securely . They are considered as a kind of bridge connecting different nations to each other. However, I totally disagree with this opinion. Aggressive atmosphere of those events often end in a complete chaos."

    I have edited it now.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #14

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    Quote Originally Posted by Erbab View Post
    "Well-known competitions such as the football World Cup are vitally important to soften improve international relations and to help people release their nationalistic feelings securely in a secure environment. They are considered as to be a kind of bridge connecting different nations to each other. However, I totally disagree with this opinion. The aggressive atmosphere of at those such events often end in a leads to them ending in complete chaos."
    See above for my suggested changes/corrections.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #15

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    Erbab, I used to think I was good at figuring out what a person was trying to say and then offering suggestions for changes. However, I have clearly met my match. (Ems is a genius.)

    When somebody says something is vitally important I tend to think it is essential. However, although the World Cup is quite popular we could probably get by without it.

    I have to wonder if complete chaos is better or worse than incomplete chaos.

    Erbab, you have a habit of inventing new phrases and new usages for words.

    You are not at the level that you think you are.
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    #16

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    Thank you very much for your help. I feel I am steadily improving after your corrections.

    @Tarheel;

    I have used "vitally important" there since I wanted to paraphrase the question which is written in my first post. As you can see, "essential" is the adjective which was used to describe sporting occasions. However, I agree with you.

    "Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way."


    When it comes to "complete", I have looked at a dictionary in which complete chaos is recommended to use. Here is the link;

    http://www.freecollocation.com/search?word=chaos

    Before using chaos, I wanted to find a good collocation actually. Complete does not sound weird to me since it looks good when I translate it into my native language. This is another problem for a non-native speaker.

    I also searched for "disorder" and "mess", "complete" was recommended again. Does "to get things in a complete mess" make sense? I will be careful about it, but what I understand from complete chaos is a state of total confusion. When I searched confusion, I met the "complete" again. So, If you ask me what do you understand from complete confusion, I would say chaos.

  7. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #17

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    "Complete chaos", "absolute chaos" and "total chaos" are common collocations in BrE.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. Member
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    #18

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    After all corrections, is this essay okay now? Do you have more mistakes you may point out?

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #19

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    Quote Originally Posted by Erbab View Post
    After all corrections, is this essay okay now?
    Three things. One, I would use the definite article (the) in that sentence. Two, you are right that it wouldn't be appropriate to call it your essay at this point. Three, where is it?
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  10. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #20

    Re: Nations Getting Together

    Quote Originally Posted by Erbab View Post
    Do you have more mistakes you may point out?
    That sentence doesn't say what you want it to.
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