Page 2 of 3 First 1 2 3 Last
Results 11 to 20 of 21
  1. Moderator
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2015
    • Posts: 17,474
    #11

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    To go back to the original question, is there a way I can use the river metaphor here?
    Her braids flow over her brow like two golden rivulets. I think "river" is two large a body of water to work. I started to write "golden streams" but that image is often applied to urine, so it's best avoided.
    I am not a teacher.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 54,081
    #12

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    But her braids don't go (or flow) over her brow at all. They go over her ears.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Senior Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Persian
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran

    • Join Date: Sep 2019
    • Posts: 1,172
    #13

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    But her braids don't go (or flow) over her brow at all. They go over her ears.

    Fair enough. Can we say this?

    Her golden braids flow over her ears like two rivulets and conjoin in the back of her head to cascade down her shoulder.

  4. Moderator
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2015
    • Posts: 17,474
    #14

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Fair enough. Can we say this?

    Her golden braids flow over her ears like two rivulets and conjoin in the back of her head to cascade down her shoulder.
    It's grammatical. "Conjoin" sounds clinical and reminds me of conjoined twins, which probably isn't the image you're looking for. When one stream of water joins another, one is a tributary of the other. Can you use that word?

    I'm biting my tongue so as not to comment on the style.
    I am not a teacher.

  5. Senior Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Persian
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran

    • Join Date: Sep 2019
    • Posts: 1,172
    #15

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by GoesStation View Post
    It's grammatical. "Conjoin" sounds clinical and reminds me of conjoined twins, which probably isn't the image you're looking for. When one stream of water joins another, one is a tributary of the other. Can you use that word?

    I'm biting my tongue so as not to comment on the style.
    What if I just use join?

    I know what you mean about the style. I think it's a bit too much!

    How can I tone it down a bit? You know, be poetic and not schmaltzy!

  6. Moderator
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2015
    • Posts: 17,474
    #16

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    What if I just use "join"?

    I know what you mean about the style. I think it's a bit too much!

    How can I tone it down a bit? You know, be poetic and not schmaltzy!
    You can definitely use "join". I'm afraid I'm not really capable of writing the kind of prose you're looking for. Sometimes I wish I could write with a little more pizazz.
    I am not a teacher.

  7. Senior Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Persian
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran

    • Join Date: Sep 2019
    • Posts: 1,172
    #17

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by GoesStation View Post
    You can definitely use "join". I'm afraid I'm not really capable of writing the kind of prose you're looking for. Sometimes I wish I could write with a little more pizazz.
    I see.

  8. Moderator
    Retired English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 29,741
    #18

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Also asked and answered here.

    Are you aware, alpacinoutd, that

    We recommend posting a question on one forum only initially. If you do not get a satisfactory answer from that forum and you feel that you have exhausted its possibilities, then of course trying a different forum might help. It is only courteous however, to tell the second forum that you have already asked the question on another forum and then give a precis of the answers you received there, or provide a link to it, along with an explanation of why you are now looking elsewhere.
    ?

  9. Senior Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Persian
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran

    • Join Date: Sep 2019
    • Posts: 1,172
    #19

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    Also asked and answered here.

    Are you aware, alpacinoutd, that

    We recommend posting a question on one forum only initially. If you do not get a satisfactory answer from that forum and you feel that you have exhausted its possibilities, then of course trying a different forum might help. It is only courteous however, to tell the second forum that you have already asked the question on another forum and then give a precis of the answers you received there, or provide a link to it, along with an explanation of why you are now looking elsewhere.
    ?

    I had no idea that I should say that. Please accept my apology.

    But I usually ask my questions in different forums.

    If, that is construed as uncourteous, I sincerely apologize.

  10. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 54,081
    #20

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    It's only discourteous (not "uncourteous") if you don't tell us (or the members of the other forum) that you have done so. Providing the information Rover mentioned saves us wasting our time responding only to find that the question has already been answered elsewhere.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Page 2 of 3 First 1 2 3 Last

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •