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  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Hello

    I intend to describe this lady's hair in a poetic fashion:

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    I intend to use the river metaphor and then the cascade one. I have seen cascade used for describing women's hair a lot.

    My question is, does my sentence work?

    Two interwoven golden river of braids flow through two sides of her head as if to conjoin in the back of her head and fall down in a cascade.

    If this sentence does not work, how can I use the river metaphor in the correct way?

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    I don't think that describes her hair at all. When we say that someone's hair cascades, it suggests the hair is loose, not in a couple of complicated plaits (braids).
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Senior Member
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    #3

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I don't think that describes her hair at all. When we say that someone's hair cascades, it suggests the hair is loose, not in a couple of complicated plaits (braids).
    Is there no way I can use the river metaphor here?

    How would you describe this lady's hair?

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    It's in two French plaits tied together at the back of her head, or two side plaits which are then plaited together at the back.

    We're really not in the habit of using overly flowery prose to describe hairstyles.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Moderator
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    #5

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Try describing her hair in plain language, using no metaphors and no more than two adjectives.
    I am not a teacher.

  6. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Sadly, I don't think that's going to fit the OP's desire to describe it "in a poetic fashion".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. Senior Member
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    #7

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    Honestly, I just try to write in a flowery fashion because it makes me happy.

    I don't intend to publish this for anyone.

    I just try to write in a dramatic fashion and test the limits of my own imagination.

  8. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    I'm not sure it's a good use of your time or the forum's time, even if it does make you happy. Wouldn't you prefer to concentrate on grammatically perfect English, especially given your job?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  9. Senior Member
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    #9

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    To go back to the original question, is there a way I can use the river metaphor here?

  10. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Use river metaphor to describe this lady's hair

    I can't think of one. Her hairstyle does not make me think of anything to do with rivers.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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