IELTS writing task 2- Traditional skills

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mahdi.safari

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(Topic:( Should not be less than 250 words)
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and way of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.)

The rapid development of new technologies cause to shut down many traditional skills. While many people argued that it is useless to try to keep them alive, I am strongly disagree with this opinion.

There are several reasons why traditional skills should be preserved. Firstly, traditional skills are the heritage from our ancestor and we have responsibility to take care of them. It would be aid us and the next generations to remain connected with our past, and we could learn numerous beneficial things from their culture. Secondly, conventional jobs can be an alternative way of life in the recent modern society. For example, the ones who got bored from the contemporary restaurant with repetitious cuisines, can go to an old cozy restaurant with historical decoration and traditional food to rest their minds and get rid of daily routines.


Although modern skills and technology make the life and the way of living more easier in comparison with traditional skills, majority of the recent jobs are inspired from conventional skills. Yet many can be inspired from the old skills. For instance, these days, people specially children are more prone to various diseases owing to the reason of unhealthy diet pattern. However, this problem can be overcome easily by adopting the natural way of eating or following herbal product which were commonly used by our predecessors. Hence, traditional skills can be combined with the technology to make modern jobs inspiring from ancient culture and skills.

In conclusion, despite of that the modern jobs make life easier, but combination of technology with traditional skills can be beneficial for the society along with preserving conventional skills.
 

emsr2d2

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The rapid development of new technologies cause to shut down many traditional skills.

Have a look at the word order I have underlined. It needs to be changed. Also, traditional skills don't "shut down". Take a hint from the topic title. Also, look at the first verb you used. The referent is "The rapid development" - is that singular or plural?
 

mahdi.safari

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May I change the first sentence as follow:

In many developed countries, traditional skills and way of life are going to be obsoleted.
 

emsr2d2

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No. "obsolete" isn't a verb. It's an adjective.
 

mahdi.safari

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How about "eradicated"?
 

emsr2d2

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We don't really talk about skills being eradicated. That's used for things like major diseases or, in genocide, entire ethnic/religious groups.

I would stop trying to use the passive if I were you - as I suggested earlier, take your cue from the words in the topic title.
 

mahdi.safari

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Is it possible to copy the same from the topic?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and way of life die out.
 

emsr2d2

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Yes, of course it's OK to use words from the title. It's exactly what you're being asked to write about.
 

mahdi.safari

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Can you please take a look at the entire passage and see if the there is any mistake? Of course I believe there are many:oops:
 
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