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  1. Newbie
    Teacher (Other)
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2020
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    I need help to improve my thesis statement.

    I had to come up with a thesis statement for my argumentive essay outline and after that I had to film a video for that class. Now I did everything correctly EXCEPT my thesis statement, long story short I never saw my teachers feedback and filmed the video. I now have the chance to redeem myself and really need the credits for this class desperately. Can anybody please help me with bettering my thesis statement? it can't be longer than 1-2 sentences.
    ''Evidence has shown that gender-segregated schools are not inherently better than co-ed schools.''
    As you can see my ''thesis statement'' is more a fact. How can I improve this to become a solid thesis statement??
    Any help will be appreciated!

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 20,000
    #2

    Thesis statement.

    Perhaps:

    Evidence has shown that gender-segregated schools are neither inherently better nor worse than coed schools.
    Not a professional teacher

  3. jutfrank's Avatar
    VIP Member
    English Teacher
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      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Mar 2014
    • Posts: 12,059
    #3

    Re: Thesis statement.

    If you were a teacher, as it says in your profile information, you would understand why we can give you only very general advice.

    My advice is this: search online for a resource that explains how to write a good thesis statement.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 20,000
    #4

    Re: I need help to improve my thesis statement.

    I would say:

    It has to be just one or two sentences.
    Not a professional teacher

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