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Thread: A little story

  1. Ever Student's Avatar
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    #1

    A little story

    Hi dear English-speaking teachers,

    Would you please take a look at the note below?


    The Seed Journey to a Sweet Melon


    The wind wants the dandelion seed to land a desert of Khorasan (a province of Iran) …oh poor tiny seed was trapped in a spinal melon plant. Night comes and the plant gets icy but it must shake. To stop shivering, the little seed attaches to the plant; however, the wind leads the seed to the melon direction. The seed is now jiggled by the vibrant melon. The day comes and the sun shines on the melon to get it warmer and warmer. The wind now rolls the seed to the plant becoming a roasted wheat. The seed seeks to the striped shades of the melon plant but the stripes become a roasted wheat too. Getting a roasted wheat, the sun melts the melon down. ​ While the melon is boiling, the wind blows the seed by the melon. There is an earthquake to the melon and is cracked. The wind wants the seed to sit into the melon crack. Wow, a candy palace for the king dandelion seed!

    Last edited by Ever Student; 27-Apr-2020 at 10:09. Reason: Just editing

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    #2

    Re: A little story for being revised

    The Seed Journey to a Sweet Melon


    The wind wants the dandelion seed to land on a the desert of Khorasan (a province of Iran). Oh, the poor tiny seed was trapped in a spinal (?) melon plant. Night comes and the plant gets icy but it must shake (why is this so?). To stop shivering, the little seed attaches itself to the plant. However, the wind leads blows the seed to the direction of the melon direction. The seed is now jiggled by the vibrant melon. The day comes and the sun shines on the melon to get making it warmer and warmer.



    The wind now rolls the seed to the plant becoming a roasted wheat. (this cannot be understood). The seed seeks to (?) the striped shades (?) of the melon plant but the stripes become a roasted wheat too. (?) Getting a roasted wheat, the sun melts the melon down. ​ While the melon is boiling, the wind blows the seed by the melon. There is an earthquake to the melon and is cracked. The wind wants the seed to sit into the melon crack. Wow, a candy palace for the king dandelion seed!

    I cannot understand what you are trying to say in the second part.
    Last edited by tedmc; 27-Apr-2020 at 13:16.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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