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Thread: Order placement

  1. Junior Member
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    #1

    Order placement

    Please edit my letter.
    Dear sir/Madam,
    As we are in need of currency notes counting machine hereby we place a order for one note counting machine from your end. Further we request you to deliver the machine as soon as possible to us for providing good customer service to our customers during the lockdown period.

  2. Senior Member
    English Teacher
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    #2

    Re: Order placement

    Quote Originally Posted by poongodi View Post
    Please edit my letter.

    Dear Sir/Madam,
    As We are in need of a currency notes counting machine hereby we place a order for one note counting machine from your end. Further we request you to Please deliver the a machine as soon as possible to us for providing good customer so that we can continue to provide quality service to our customers during the lockdown period.
    My shot.

  3. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Order placement

    Good job, Yankee. Big improvement.

    Poongodi, you can shorten it even more:

    - Change We are in need of to We need.

    - Change deliver a machine to deliver one.

    - Change as soon as possible to us to as soon as possible.

    - Change provide quality service to our customers to serve our customers. (No need to mention quality. They know you don't want to provide poor service!)

    - Change lockdown period to lockdown.

    Business letters should be concise. Wordy business letters waste readers' time.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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