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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Motivational Letter - are my paragraphs correct?

    Hello everyone! My name is Andrea and I'm a Computer Science student (Artificial Intelligence). I'm applying to Cambridge University and I wrote a motivational letter. Do you think I used a correct grammar and language for this kind of context? Do you notice any errors? I'm Italian and this is my first motivational letter, so I'm a bit scared to send it without a little help by an English teacher. Thank you!

    Dear Cambridge University,


    I am hereby applying for a one semester scholarship at a Masterís Degree in Computer Science at the Cambridge University.


    My name is AF and I graduated in BS Computer Science from University of Pisa, Italy. My enthusiasm for a field that was in its full development in the past decade motivated me to follow a Informatics degree at high-school. During the course of my graduation I studied several diverse subjects e.g. Data Structures, Programming (C#, Java, Python) and Analysis of Algorithm and these subjects really helped me build a solid foundation in Computer Science and to become passionate about a branch of informatics that is becoming very important and that will condition the future of informatics and not only, that is, Artificial Intelligence. For this reason Iím currently studying for an MS degree in Artificial Intelligence at University of Pisa.


    My purpose for applying to a one-semester mobility is both to expand my solid education and to create new opportunities for my future career. I am interested in learning and exploring new fields in Computer Science and I am eager to experience the studentís life abroad.
    As I read in the brochures and information about events and current courses of study, Cambridge University is one of the largest and most advanced universities dealing with artificial intelligence as it offers courses entirely oriented towards Big Data analysis and convergence education, which is what I am currently studying. In addition, numerous research projects, such as the Professor Luke Paul's one aimed at building a globally unique reference database for drug-induced gene expression profiles, are a source of inspiration for the future of artificial intelligence and possible applications in contexts outside the computer science, such as medicine, so it would be an honor to work closely with them.


    Another reason why I am interested in studying at Cambridge University is to try to build my future by studying courses such as bioinformatics and systems biology in order to join research groups specialized in the development of new algorithms, methodologies and software tools for the analysis of biological data.


    Studying Artificial Intelligence at Cambridge University is an opportunity I would love to dedicate myself too wholeheartedly. Considering my academic performance so far and my desire to enrich mine knowledge, I am convinced that I will be a valuable addition to the programme. I hope to be given this chance, as I am confident that I am capable of meeting and even exceeding your expectations.


    Thank you for considering my application.


    Yours sincerely,
    AF

  2. VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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    #2

    Re: Motivational Letter - are my paragraphs correct?

    Welcome to the Forum.

    For a start, address the letter to the person (name) or sir/madam.

    I think a title for the letter would be useful to give the receiver an idea of the purpose of the letter at a glance, especially for sorting purposes, without reading through it.
    Last edited by tedmc; 01-May-2020 at 04:07.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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    #3

    Re: Motivational Letter - are my paragraphs correct?

    If you're going to use tedmc's second suggested form of address, use "Dear Sir/Madam".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Motivational Letter - are my paragraphs correct?

    Have you looked at the other motivational letters in this section? Was that helpful?

    Do you think I used a correct grammar and language for this kind of context?

    What is wrong with thst sentence?
    Not a professional teacher

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