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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: May 2020
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Post A very important email

    Hello,

    I have a crucial email in English I need to send to a teacher. As I am a native French speaker, I am not confident about how it came out, and I would like the community to re-read it for me. I am not sure that this is the right place to ask for that, and if I am mistaken then I am sorry about that.

    The purpose of the email is to ask for a reorientation in a specialization. The receiver is the teacher that oversees it. I am really in need of this reorientation, and what I am asking for here is something hard to achieve.

    Subject : Inquiry about the specialization "Applied Data Science"

    Hello Mr. Wei Zhou,

    I am currently a pre-master student at ESCP BS. We have met on two occasions to discuss the specialization "Applied Data Science", and I was planning to attend, at your invitation, the hackathon presentations in the Montparnasse campus.


    After having discussed this option with you and a few of your colleagues, I entered "Applied Data Science" as my first choice for my spring 2021 specialization. However, I learnt yesterday that I was not assigned to it. As I was not expecting this outcome, this came as a shock to me : since I plan on going on a double degree with a partner institution in the second year of the Master, I will not be able to follow this course the following spring, and I am only able to choose one specialization for my degree.


    This is why I am reaching out to you : I am asking you, in the light of my special circumstances, to exceptionally add me in the course for the spring 2021 semester. I understand the uniqueness of my demand and, although this is common practice each year, the exception I am asking you to make. However, I would not make this request if I was not truly motivated and did not feel deeply involved with the subject.


    Kind regards,

    Riad.

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Other
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 7,567
    #2

    Re: A very important email

    Quote Originally Posted by RiadZ View Post
    Hello,

    I have a crucial email in English I need to send to a teacher. As I am a native French speaker, I am not confident about how it came out, and I would like the community to re-read it for me. I am not sure that this is the right place to ask for that, and if I am mistaken then I am sorry about that.

    The purpose of the email is to ask for a reorientation in a specialization. The receiver is the teacher that oversees it. I am really in need of this reorientation, and what I am asking for here is something hard to achieve.

    Subject : Inquiry about the specialization "Applied Data Science"

    Hello Mr. Wei Zhou,

    I am currently a pre-master student at ESCP BS. We have met on two occasions to discuss the specialization Applied Data Science [Delete the quotation marks.], and I was planning to attend, at your invitation, the hackathon presentations in the Montparnasse campus.


    After having discussed this option with you and a few of your colleagues, I entered "Applied Data Science" as my first choice for my spring 2021 specialization. However, I learnt yesterday that I was not assigned to it. As I was not expecting this outcome, this came as a shock to me[no space]: Since I plan on going on a double degree with a partner institution in the second year of the Master [Do you mean master's degree program? If you do, spell it out - without capitals.], I will not be able to follow this course the following spring, and I am only able to choose one specialization for my degree.


    This is why I am reaching out to you[no space]: I am asking you, in the light of my special circumstances, to make an exception and add me in the course for the spring 2021 semester. I understand the uniqueness of my request, and [although this is common practice each year, the exception I am asking you to make.] This blue section doesn't make sense to me, and there's nothing new in it. I'd delete it.] However, I would not make this request if I were not truly motivated and did not feel deeply involved with the subject.


    Kind regards,

    Riad.
    It's good. Your written English is better than most native speakers'.
    Last edited by Charlie Bernstein; 06-May-2020 at 01:45.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. Moderator
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2015
    • Posts: 20,102
    #3

    Re: A very important email

    I'd write … hackathon presentations at the Montparnasse campus ….
    I am not a teacher.

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