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  1. #1
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    a chill wafted from the river

    Hello,

    Have I used "waft" correctly here? I want to suggest cool air from the river came towards me:

    A chill wafted from the river and tenderly stroked our faces.

    Do you have any suggestions about how this sentence can be made better?

  2. #2
    Skrej's Avatar
    Skrej is offline Key Member
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    I guess it works, but it's uncommon to use 'waft' in that sense. 'Waft' is more commonly used for scents, smells, and odors.
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  3. #3
    GoesStation is offline Moderator
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    "Chills" are generally uncomfortable things. It's hard to imagine one tenderly stroking anything.
    I am not a teacher.

  4. #4
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    Quote Originally Posted by GoesStation View Post
    "Chills" are generally uncomfortable things. It's hard to imagine one tenderly stroking anything.
    But I'm talking about a situation where it was a hot day and we had a picnic by the river.

    What is another word I can use to describe a soft coolness?

    And if I stick with chill, what verb should I use?

  5. #5
    GoesStation is offline Moderator
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    But I'm talking about a situation where it was a hot day and we had a picnic by the river.

    What is another word I can use to describe a soft coolness?

    And if I stick with chill, what verb should I use?
    A chill is not comfortable. A cool breeze is. It might drift up from the river.
    I am not a teacher.

  6. #6
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    Quote Originally Posted by GoesStation View Post
    A chill is not comfortable. A cool breeze is. It might drift up from the river.
    What can chill do to your skin or your face. I mean instead of "tenderly stroking our faces", what can I say?

    Also, is this okay?

    A cool breeze wafted from the river and tenderly stroked our faces.

  7. #7
    Skrej's Avatar
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    A cool breeze lifted off the river and brushed our faces.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    What can chill do to your skin or your face. I mean instead of "tenderly stroking our faces", what can I say?

    Also, is this okay?

    A cool breeze wafted from the river and tenderly stroked our faces.
    Again, we normally reserve 'waft' for smells. As Goes mentioned, a 'chill breeze' would be unwelcome, so you're have to use a negative sounding verb.

    A chill breeze sprang from the frozen river and raked our faces with its frozen talons.
    Last edited by Skrej; 15-May-2020 at 23:19. Reason: added
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  8. #8
    tedmc is offline VIP Member
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    A chill is a feeling or a condition. I can't imagine it being carried or drifting in the air. It has to be something tangible like a breeze. But it does not go with "wafted" which is used with smell as Skrej said.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  9. #9
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    But I'm talking about a situation where it was a hot day and we had a picnic by the river.

    What is another word I can use to describe a soft coolness?

    And if I stick with chill, what verb should I use?
    I'd let you get away with wafted. But don't stick with chill. If a soft, cool breeze blew in from the water, then just say a soft, cool breeze blew in from the water.

    You could also call it gentle, welcome, or pleasant. Chilly breeze would make more sense, but it still doesn't fit the meaning you want, because it wouldn't be pleasant.
    Last edited by Charlie Bernstein; 16-May-2020 at 03:51.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  10. #10
    tedmc is offline VIP Member
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    Re: a chill wafted from the river

    Chill (not the verb which means relax) and chilly have negative connotations.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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