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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Hi everyone,

    I translated an article from Chinese into English the other day. Now I want to change the last underlined sentence a little bit while remaining its meaning corrent. Hope you could make a suggestion, thanks.

    The original translation is as follows:

    Thunder Wheel-type Disinfection Robot
    Thunder wheel-type silent disinfection robot is a high-efficiency electric disinfection robot specially developed for indoor and outdoor disinfection and epidemic prevention. It adopts electric fan, electronic platform, food and medicine level diaphragm pump as well as ducted fan pressurization, and features low noise, no fuel required and adjustable spray flow. It is suitable for all kinds of strong oxidation disinfectant to be ejected in a long range with good atomization effect. As Thunder can also be remote controlled to drive, it comprehensively meets the safety, reliability and efficiency requirements for disinfection work.

    Now, I want to replace the the underlined sentence with one of the following, but do not know which will be grammatically correct:
    1. Also able to be remote controlled to drive, Thunder comprehensively meets...
    2. Also being able to be remote controlled to drive, Thunder comprehensively meets...
    3. As also being able to be remote controlled to drive, Thunder comprehensively meets...

    Any suggestion is welcome, thanks a lot.
    Last edited by Al_Bora; 30-May-2020 at 05:13.

  2. VIP Member
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    #2

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    No, none of your alternatives or the original are good sentences.

    "Since it's possible to operate the Thunder remotely, it comprehensively meets the safety, reliability and efficiency requirements for disinfection work." This is grammatical. Is it what you mean?
    "But it also seems logically wrong, since it's very unlikely that remote use makes it comprehensively meet the safety, reliability and efficiency requirements for disinfection work."
    "It's very reliable because it can used remotely." That's not a test of reliability.

  3. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Do you know any native English speakers who can do the translation for you?

    As a non-native English speaker, you're perhaps not the best person to translate into English, right? It's okay for you to translate from English into Chinese, but not the other way round.

    What is this text, anyway? Who's going to read it?

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    #4

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    No, none of your alternatives or the original are good sentences.

    "Since it's possible to operate the Thunder remotely, it comprehensively meets the safety, reliability and efficiency requirements for disinfection work." This is grammatical. Is it what you mean?
    "But it also seems logically wrong, since it's very unlikely that remote use makes it comprehensively meet the safety, reliability and efficiency requirements for disinfection work."
    "It's very reliable because it can used remotely." That's not a test of reliability.
    Thanks.
    What I mean is in all the paragraph. It should have some problems in logics when translated from the original Chinese. But what I really want to know is the grammar, though it is logically incorrect.

    Hope you could understand me.

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    #5

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    You are right, jutfrank. I am definitely not the best person to translate CHN into ENG. But in China, many translators do their work in this direction.
    The original text is a Product Introduction for potential customers who may buy the product, and the original text is as following, if you need. Thank.

    Thunder
    轮式消毒防疫机器人

    THUNDER轮式静音消毒机器人是专为室内外消毒防疫研制的一款高效电动消毒机器人,采用电动风扇及电控云台,噪音小, 无需燃料,喷洒流量可调,食品医药级隔膜泵,涵道风扇增压,适合各种强氧化消毒液,射程远,雾化效果好,可 远程驾驶控制,全方位满足消毒工作的安全性、可靠性及效率需求。

  6. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Quote Originally Posted by Al_Bora View Post
    But in China, many translators do their work in this direction.
    Yes, I know. That's a problem.

    The original text is a Product Introduction for potential customers who may buy the product, and the original text is as following, if you need. Thank.

    Thunder
    轮式消毒防疫机器人

    THUNDER轮式静音消毒机器人是专为室内外消毒防疫研制的一款高效电动消毒机器人,采用电动风扇及电控云台,噪音小, 无需燃料,喷洒流量可调,食品医药级隔膜泵,涵道风扇增压,适合各种强氧化消毒液,射程远,雾化效果好,可 远程驾驶控制,全方位满足消毒工作的安全性、可靠性及效率需求。
    Thanks but I wasn't offering to do it myself!

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    #7

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Could the sense of the last sentence be: Thunder can be driven by remote control, which fully complies with the safety, reliability and efficiency requirements for disinfection work?
    Typoman - writer of rongs

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    #8

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Quote Originally Posted by Al_Bora View Post
    Thanks.
    What I mean is in all the paragraph. It should have some problems in logics when translated from the original Chinese. But what I really want to know is the grammar, though it is logically incorrect.

    Hope you could understand me.
    Sure, but you must understand, Al, that even if you think it is all there for us to translate into good English, if it's not in good English, we can't always know what you mean. If we don't know what you mean, we can't put it into good English.

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    #9

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Thank you, Raymott.
    I'd better find someone else to improve the translation.

  10. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Can I use another sentence to replace the underlined one?

    Yes to all of the above comments. Having remote control has nothing to do with reliability. Far from it! If you want to mention its remote control, say something like:

    Because Thunder can be controlled remotely, it is also versatile.


    If you want to talk about its reliability, say something like:

    Thunder meets all safety, reliability, and efficiency requirements for disinfection work.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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