Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 Last
Results 1 to 10 of 24
  1. Banned
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Aug 2020
    • Posts: 26
    #1

    Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    Have I made any mistakes?

    Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream. An exclusive location brimming with wide roads, golden maple trees, and verdant lawns. The majority of residents are white-collar professionals ranging from university researchers to government officials. Among these accomplished inhabitants, drug smuggler Pedro Picar, who adopted a fake identity as an illustrious professor, orchestrates and oversees all the cocaine distribution on the West Coast from his innocuous home. Be that as it may, several anonymous reports about armored vehicles circulating his property with cargo boxes have been submitted to the local newspaper. Although this has raised suspicion in the neighborhood, the police have opted to keep their distance from the area, as it has been deemed righteous by the municipal council.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 20,399
    #2

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    I would delete "brimming" from the second sentence and "ranging" from the third sentence.
    Not a professional teacher

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 20,399
    #3

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    For the fourth sentence, try:

    One of the residents, ....

    If was going to adopt a fake identity it wouldn't be an illustrious one.
    Last edited by Tarheel; 09-Aug-2020 at 22:36.
    Not a professional teacher

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 20,399
    #4

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    What do you mean by ,"righteous" in the last sentence?

    Circulating - going around

    What is an "innocuous home"?

    What are "cargo boxes"?
    Not a professional teacher

  5. Banned
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Aug 2020
    • Posts: 26
    #5

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    Thanks for your comments, buddy.
    Do you suggest deleting 'brimming' and 'ranging' because I misused them? Or because they're unnecessary?
    In the fourth sentence, do you suggest swapping "Among these accomplished inhabitants" for "One of the residents"?

    Off-topic questions.
    'If was going to adopt a fake identity it wouldn't be an illustrious one.' What would it be?
    Would it be grammatically correct if I word the first clause of your sentence as 'If I were to adpot'?


  6. Banned
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Aug 2020
    • Posts: 26
    #6

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    By 'righteous' I meant 'in good standing'.
    Cargo boxes are those enclosures that are generally mounted on the roof of vehicles to carry cargo.
    An ordinary home that doesn't draw attention. Would 'unassuming' or 'modest' be more accurate word choices?

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 20,399
    #7

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dutch Van der View Post
    Thanks for your comments, Tarheel.
    Do you suggest deleting 'brimming' and 'ranging' because I misused them? Or because they're unnecessary?

    They are totally unnecessary.

    In the fourth sentence, do you suggest swapping "Among these accomplished inhabitants" for "One of the residents"?

    Yes.

    Off-topic questions.
    'If was going to adopt a fake identity it wouldn't be an illustrious one.' What would it be?

    I don't know. But it would be somebody who doesn't stand out.


    Would it be grammatically correct if I word the first clause of your sentence as 'If I were to adpot'?

    Yes. I think that is correct


    Not a professional teacher

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 20,399
    #8

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dutch Van der View Post
    By 'righteous' I meant 'in good standing'.
    Cargo boxes are those enclosures that are generally mounted on the roof of vehicles to carry cargo.
    An ordinary home that doesn't draw attention. Would 'unassuming' or 'modest' be more accurate word choices?
    That's not what "righteous" means. The shippers should go inside, not on tbe roof. Yes, "ordinary", "unassuming", and "modest" are all better choices.
    Not a professional teacher

  9. Banned
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Aug 2020
    • Posts: 26
    #9

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    I looked "righteous" up. Is it used exclusively in religious contexts?
    Isn't this what you call a cargo box?
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	SmartSelect_20200809-181923_Chrome.jpg 
Views:	0 
Size:	48.7 KB 
ID:	3595

  10. Banned
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Aug 2020
    • Posts: 26
    #10

    Re: Kingswood is, at first glance, an enchanting suburban dream.

    I concede that it's rare enough to see cars with rails on top, and even more rarely see anything on top of those rails in 'murica, but these luggages on top of cars are ubiquitous in Poland.

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 Last

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •