[Grammar] when they had the work, unloading freight along the docks when they didn't, going.

[hhtt21]

This is a very long sentence, which is composed by "commas", from the novel "Shutter Island." I don't understand grammar of it. It is also difficult for me to follow it.

"TEDDY DANIELS’S FATHER had been a fisherman. He lost his boat to the bank in ’31 when Teddy was eleven, spent the rest of his life hiring onto other boats when they had the work, unloading freight along the docks when they didn’t, going long stretches when he was back at the house by ten in the morning, sitting in an armchair,staring at his hands, whispering to himself occasionally, his eyes gone wide and dark."

What does "they" refer to? Does the father spent his life hiring when they had the work, or he spent his life but sometimes he didn't work to do there?

What does "when they didn't" mean?

Source and link: Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane https://www.bookbrowse.com/excerpts/index.cfm/book_number/1208/shutter-island

I cannot relate the black/bold, blue, red and green parts to each other.

Thanks.

 

[emsr2d2]

Here are all the constituent parts in shorter sentences.

Teddy's father used to be a fisherman.
In 1931, when Teddy was 11, his father's boat was repossessed by the bank (presumably to repay a debt).
His father then worked on other people's boats when they (the boat owners) had work available.
He worked unloading freight on the docks when they (the boat owners previously mentioned) did not have any work to offer him.
For long periods of time, there was so little work available that he was back home by 10am (a very short day at work = very little income).

Does that help?

 

[hhtt21]

Here are all the constituent parts in shorter sentences.
For long periods of time, there was so little work available that he was back home by 10am (a very short day at work = very little income).
Does that help?

Your reworded version is very interesting and easier to understand, but I just didn't understand your last sentence. How can you see, understand, or see "For long periods of time" and ""there was so little work" in the original sentence?

Thank you.

 

[emsr2d2]

Your reworded version is very interesting and easier to understand, but I just didn't understand your last sentence. How can you see, understand, or see "For long periods of time" and ""there was so little work" in the original sentence?

Thank you.

long stretches = long periods of time
he was back at the house by ten in the morning = this is what indicates there wasn't very much work. If there had been more work, he would have been out of the house for more of the day

 

[Rollercoaster1]

... spent the rest of his life hiring onto other boats when they had the work...

Wouldn't it be better if the writer had written '...spent the rest of his life hiring onto other boats when the boat owners had the work, unloading freight along the docks when they didn't'?

 

[emsr2d2]

I suppose it would have been clearer to a non-native speaker, but native speakers understand that "they" refers to the boats but, since boats are incapable of hiring people, it must be the boat owners who gave him work.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Wouldn't it be better if the writer had written '...spent the rest of his life hiring onto other boats when the boat owners had the work, unloading freight along the docks when they didn't'?

No.

 

[hhtt21]

No.

Why?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Why?

Because you're not going to improve on Dennis Lehane. Don't try. His command of written American English is first class. He must have written a dozen novels by now — most of them critically acclaimed. He teaches graduate-level creative writing to people like you and me who want to get better at it. He's The Man.

Yes, the sentence is long. In the wrong hands, that can be murder. But when a good writer does it, it's purposeful. Elegant. Compelling.

In spite of the passage's length, did you notice that he only used three adjectives and one adverb? What economy! He's packed a huge amount of information in there. In two carefully crafted sentences, we learn everything we need to know about Teddy's father. And that gives us clues about who Teddy is.

How cool is that?

 

[SoothingDave]

There are a lot of commas in that sentence.