[General] I dislike pain--to be exact, I dread it ...

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DANAU

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Hi.

Please help me check if the short paragraph below is correctly constructed.

"I dislike pain--to be exact, I dread it (and I am not exaggerating)--ever since I was aware of it.
When the dentist pushed in the first dose of anaesthesia, the pain felt like a knife slicing across my gum. I was eight.
Decades have past, but the pain was never forgotten."
 

emsr2d2

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Hi.

Please help me by checking if the short paragraph below is correctly constructed.

"I dislike pain - to be exact, I have dreaded it (and I am not exaggerating) no dash here ever since I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] became aware of it. When the dentist [STRIKE]pushed in[/STRIKE] injected the first dose of anaesthesia, [STRIKE]the pain[/STRIKE] it felt like a knife slicing across my gum. I was eight. Decades have [STRIKE]past[/STRIKE] passed, but I have never forgotten the pain." [STRIKE]was never forgotten."[/STRIKE]

See above.
 

tedmc

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Was that the only occasion you have been to the dentist, when you were eight?
 

DANAU

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Hi tedmc.

That was the first time when I was injected with anaesthesia for a tooth extraction.
 

tedmc

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Hi tedmc.

That was the first time when I was injected with anaesthesia for a tooth extraction.

Okay, nobody likes pain. But your phobia of going to the dentist which was developed from young would have been reduced with your subsequent visits. Your tolerance of pain would have increased as you grow older. Besides, dental treatment nowadays are not such a scary experience as before with the advancement in science.
 

teechar

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Okay, nobody likes pain. But your phobia of going to the dentist
Who said DANAU had a phobia?! The OP just talks about a childhood experience.

which was developed from young
That's ungrammatical and unnatural.

would have been reduced with your subsequent visits.
Your tolerance of pain would have increased as you grow older.
That's yet another assumption!

Besides, dental treatment nowadays [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] is not such a scary experience as it was before, with the advancement in science.
Perhaps, but many people still don't enjoy it.
 

emsr2d2

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Plenty of people dread going to the dentist, regardless of how old they are or how many times they have been.
 

tedmc

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Who said DANAU had a phobia?! The OP just talks about a childhood experience.

I thought that was a logical deduction. We'll see what Danau has to say about that.


That's ungrammatical and unnatural.

Perhaps when he was young or from a young age.

That's yet another assumption!


Perhaps, but many people still don't enjoy it.

I am not saying they do, but many would get used to their dentists, especially when visits are regular, have become a routine and they eventually grow out of it.
.
 
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DANAU

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Hi everyone.

I do have a phobia even till now; I never seem to get over the pain from that very first injection.

#1 - But it is true that dental treatment for me is less scary now then before, not because my pain threshold has increased, but rather I have been seeing
better dentists (specialists to be exact) who are more mindful of patient in general because we paid more for their service and care.

#2 - But it is true that dental treatment for me is less scary now then before, not because my pain threshold has increased, but rather, I have been seeing
better dentists (specialists to be exact) who are, in general, more mindful of patient because we paid more for their service and care.

Please also help me by checking which of the two sentences above is correct.
 

emsr2d2

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Hi everyone.

I do have a phobia even [STRIKE]till[/STRIKE] now; I never seem to get over the pain from that very first injection.

#1 - [STRIKE]But[/STRIKE] It is true that dental treatment for me is less scary now [STRIKE]then[/STRIKE] than before, not because my pain threshold has increased, but [STRIKE]rather[/STRIKE] because I have been seeing better dentists (specialists, to be exact) who are more mindful of patients in general because we [STRIKE]paid[/STRIKE] pay more for their service and care.

#2 - [STRIKE]But[/STRIKE] It is true that dental treatment for me is less scary now then before, not because my pain threshold has increased, but [STRIKE]rather,[/STRIKE] because I have been seeing better dentists (specialists, to be exact) who are, in general, more mindful of patients because we [STRIKE]paid[/STRIKE] pay more for their service and care.

Please also help me by checking which of the two sentences above is correct.


I have made corrections to both sentences. Both are rather long so I would be inclined to separate them into two individual sentences.
 

DANAU

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I have made corrections to both sentences. Both are rather long so I would be inclined to separate them into two individual sentences.

Hi emsr2d2.

I have separated into 2 sentences below and have replaced a "because" with "given".

It is true that dental treatment for me is less scary now than before. This, however, is not because my pain threshold has increased, but because I have been seeing better dentists (specialists, to be exact) who are, in general, more mindful of patients given we pay more for their service and care.
 

emsr2d2

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That reads much better. I'd use "given that" in the final part.
 

tedmc

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Would it be better to replace "mindful" with "careful to ensure a painless treatment"? I thought "mindful", which means being "more conscious", is not specific enough.
 
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