romance vs self-destruction

[alpacinou]

Hello.

I want to suggest a person falls in love as a way of destroying himself. Have I used "self-destruction" correctly and naturally? Is this okay?

His is more self-destruction than it is romance. He falls in love to feed his masochistic impulses. For reasons that defy logic, Jack finds self-destruction to be bordering on the edge poetic and romantic.

 

[tedmc]

Hello.

I want to suggest a person falls in love as a way of destroying himself. Have I used "self-destruction" correctly and naturally? Is this okay?
[STRIKE]
His[/STRIKE] It is more of self-destruction than [STRIKE]it is [/STRIKE]romance. [STRIKE]He[/STRIKE] Jack falls in love to feed his masochistic impulses. For reasons that defy logic, [STRIKE]Jack[/STRIKE] he finds his self-destruction to be bordering on the edge of the poetic and romantic.

.

 

[alpacinou]

Thanks man.

Let's also see what native speakers think.

 

[teechar]

What do you mean by the initial "his"?

 

[Tarheel]

I want to suggest a person falls in love as a way of destroying himself.

On purpose?

 

[alpacinou]

What do you mean by the initial "his"?

His romance. But now that I look at it more carefully, it feels wrong.

 

[alpacinou]

On purpose?

It happens subconsciously. On some level, he wants to hurt himself.

 

[tedmc]

His romance. But now that I look at it more carefully, it feels wrong.

Words don't have feelings.

 

[emsr2d2]

Thanks. [STRIKE]man.[/STRIKE]

Please don't refer to users here using such terms as "man". Reserve them for your friends.

 

[alpacinou]

Please don't refer to users here using such terms as "man". Reserve them for your friends.

Alright.

So, what do you think about the paragraph in post #1?

 

[emsr2d2]

I want to suggest a person falls in love as a way of destroying himself. Have I used "self-destruction" correctly and naturally? Is this okay?

His missing word is more self-destruction than [STRIKE]it is[/STRIKE] romance. He falls in love to feed his masochistic impulses. For reasons that defy logic, Jack finds self-destruction to be bordering on [STRIKE]the edge[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]poetic[/STRIKE] poetry and [STRIKE]romantic[/STRIKE] romance.

See above for my suggested corrections.

 

[alpacinou]

See above for my suggested corrections.

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it. What should I put instead of the missing word? Romance?

Also, my own preference is to use "poetic". How can I do that correctly?

What do you think about the sentence generally? Is it a good sentence in the context of a romance book, for example?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

. . . His urges are more self-destructive than[STRIKE] it is[/STRIKE] romantic. He falls in love to feed his masochistic impulses. For motives that defy logic, Jack finds self-destruction [STRIKE]to be bordering on the edge[/STRIKE] poetic [STRIKE]and romantic[/STRIKE].

In the first sentence, his urges were not romantic. In the third, they were. So I got rid of the second one.

 

[tedmc]

It is true that bordering on the edge is tautologous. Edge and border mean the same thing. I don't understand how a relationship can be described as self-destructive and masochistic.

 

[Tarheel]

Self-destructive behavior and masochistic behavior could be the same thing, couldn't they?