[General] When I was young, I met a couple. (51 words)

[Silverobama]

Hi.

I was trying to narattive something happened to me when I was young, which was quite impressive.

When I was young, I often met a couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed by what they were doing because I like English very much. I swore to myself, I would speak English like them one day.

Would you please rewrite my narrative to make it natural and like a story which I could use to share others with one day?

 

[Tarheel]

Hi.

I was trying to narrate something that happened to me when I was young, which was quite impressive.



Would you please rewrite my narrative to make it natural and like a story which I could use to share with others one day?

I don't see it.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

When I was young I often saw a couple that lived in the same apartment complex I did. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed with that because I like English very much. I swore to myself that I would speak English like them one day.

 

[teechar]

I would use "I vowed" instead of "I swore to myself". Were they native English speakers?

 

[Silverobama]

I would use "I vowed" instead of "I swore to myself". Were they native English speakers?

It's very kind of you, teechar.

They are not native speakers but Chinese. That's why I was impressed by them. I wonder if I need change the rest of my sentences.

When I was young, I often met a couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed by what they were doing because I like English very much. I vowed, I would speak English like them one day.

Or your suggestion is based on the version of Tarheel, which is a good one?

When I was young I often saw a couple that lived in the same apartment complex I did. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed with that because I like English very much. I vowed that I would speak English like them one day.

 

[teechar]

Take out "by what they were doing" from the first, and consider using "local couple" to clarify the meaning. The second is okay, but I would use "who" instead of "that" in it.

 

[Silverobama]

Take out "by what they were doing" from the first, and consider using "local couple" to clarify the meaning.

When I was young, I often met a couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed by the local couple because I like English very much. I vowed, I would speak English like them one day.

Is this better?

 

[Tarheel]

Two things. One, where are you getting those extra commas from? Two, despite teechar's suggestion, you don't need to mention that they were a local couple. They lived where you did.

 

[teechar]

Is this better?
When I was young, I often met a local couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed [STRIKE]by the local couple[/STRIKE] because I like English very much. I vowed I would speak English like them one day.

Note the position of "local".

 

[tedmc]

Two things. One, where are you getting those extra commas from? Two, despite teechar's suggestion, you don't need to mention that they were a local couple. They lived where you did.

It wouldn't have been impressive to listen to the couple speaking if they were native speakers of English, would it?

 

[Tarheel]

It wouldn't have been impressive to listen to the couple speaking if they were native speakers of English, would it?

I don't understand.
:-?

 

[tedmc]

I don't understand.
:-?

I think that is the idea of stating "local couple", as distinct from a foreign couple from an English-speaking country.

 

[emsr2d2]

It wouldn't have been impressive to listen to the couple speaking if they were native speakers of English, would it?

I don't understand. :-?

Don't you, Tarheel? It makes perfect sense to me. I'm not impressed when I listen to two native speakers of a language simply chatting to each other. However, if they are both speaking a second language, it's much more impressive.

 

[Tarheel]

Well, I don't know about that, but the point I was making is there's no need to mention that they are local if they live in the same apartment complex as you. (Clearly, that's a local couple.)

As for whether I would be impressed, I don't know. (I do enjoy listening to Italian, but that's a different subject.)

 

[teechar]

there's no need to mention that they are local if they live in the same apartment complex as you. (Clearly, that's a local couple.)

Not necessarily. They could easily be foreigners living there.

 

[Silverobama]

I remember at that time my family lived in a very small apartment in Shenzhen. But the whole apartment complex has much bigger apartments. I remember there were native speakers of English who lived there, people who rented the apartment and people like my father, who worked for that company.

I was impressed because I like English very much. At that time, my teacher in elementary school motivated us to learn and encouraged us to speak, you can imagine that, Tarheel. You are learning Italian and you like it so much, but you don't speak or speak only some of the language. One day, you met a US couple who were speaking Italian very fluently with each other, (Imagine you are an elementary school student, too, who's curius and loves everything.) and you listen patiently to what they were saying though you didn't understand. Then you'll know how I felt.

To teechar. I still have some grammar questions about this sentence. Please help me for the last time in this post.

1) When I was young, I often met a local couple that lived in the same building complext as me. (Is "that" wrong? in this sentence)
2) I was impressed with that because I like English very much. (Is it wrong to delete "with that"?)
3) I vowed that I would speak English like them one day. (Is it wrong to delete "that"?)

Thanks a lot and take your time!

 

[teechar]

1) When I was young, I often met a local couple that lived in the same building complex as me. (Is "that" wrong? in this sentence)

It is not wrong, but I prefer "who".
"That" --- couple as an entity.
"Who" ---- couple as people.

2) I was impressed with that because I like English very much. (Is it wrong to delete "with that"?)

You can omit or include it. It's optional.

3) I vowed that I would speak English like them one day. (Is it wrong to delete "that"?)

You can omit or include it. It's optional.

 

[Tarheel]

Silver, you might want to post more autobiographical stories. They are, I think, more interesting than the stuff that's just about grammar.

(I like to say that none us here (Charlotte) are from Charlotte. Does that mean that none of us are locals? ;-) )

:up:

 

[tedmc]

I wouldn't be impressed by natives speaking their own language per se, anymore than other people would be impressed with you speaking your own mother tongue. I think it was more of a novelty, a treat, especially when one is learning the language and don't get to hear a native speaking it often. I would be be impressed hearing a non-native speak the language fluently like a native, which is rare.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Get rid of the comma after vowed. Otherwise, it's good as written.