Review my cover letter for Erasmus Mundus Scholarship

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Nafee

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I am writing to you to express my utmost interest and motivation to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Masters Scholarship in Big Data management and Analytics Program for September 2021. During my research, I am delighted to inform you that this program ad its course module particularly suits my interest and I will be most delighted to have an opportunity to study and explore the world of Data, particularly Big Data, Data warehousing, Data Mining, and Analytics. It is my humble desire to study at the top institution in the world and this Scholarship scheme will not only allow me this opportunity, but I also get to explore different cultures and backgrounds alongside building and positioning myself for the most sought-after career in the 21[SUP]st[/SUP] century.
My name is Nafisah, I am a graduate of Computer Science from the Federal University of Technology Minna (FUTMINNA), Nigeria, One of the leading Universities in the areas of Technology in Nigeria. My passion and desire to study Computer science started when I applied for my Remedial Studies at The Center for Preliminary and Extra-Mural affairs in FUTMINNA It was here that I discovered my love and passion for mathematics and I decided to enroll for a full-time program in Computer Science. The ICT Labs, amazing lecturers, and well-equipped course contents helped me grasp a solid foundation in Computing and with my determination to succeed and apt attention in the classroom, I graduated with a 4.50 CGPA with 5.0 being the highest possible attainable CGPA. Asides from my academics, I took part in leadership and community development activities and I received several recognitions for my contributions both form my colleagues and from my lecturers. I was also awarded a Certificate of Commendation from the ISACA student Boar where I served as the Vice President Student Group.
The courses I took in my undergraduate days helped prepare me for the world of IT and helped me streamline my decisions to work with Data. Having taken classes in Database management, Data Mining, Artificial Intelligence, Data Warehousing, Object-Oriented Programming, Operational Research amongst others, I began to nurse a desire to work and further my skills in the field of Data Management and Analytics. Having been fascinated by what I had learned in the classroom, I decided to hone my skills by carrying out my Undergraduate thesis in the field of Machine learning. My thesis was titled “Classification of Breast Cancer using Relevance Vector Machine”. It was my first research work and it helped enrich my knowledge as I had to review several publications before deciding on the algorithm to adopt. This thesis helped me understand what research entailed and how to write research papers. A publication was drawn out of this research work titled “Breast Cancer Classification Algorithm: A review” which was published at a conference.
To further hone my skills, I am currently taking the Udacity Nanodegree in Data Analytics and I have carried out several Projects using Python and SQL and this is in addition to other online courses that I enrolled in.
After completing my graduate studies, I started working as an IT Service Delivery Analyst (Intern) with XXX, a renowned Financial Technology Institution in Nigeria. In my current role, I work majorly with interpreting and analyzing data for the business using Excel, Power BI, tableau and with a solid background in SQL and Programming, I can quickly understand and write DAX equations and Formulas to solve data-related problems where necessary. In such a short time, I have come to garner so much knowledge, technical skills, and experience that will allow me to excel as a member of this program. Based on my impressive and outstanding performance, I received a full-time employment offer with the firm after completing my internship. This role provides me with the opportunity to explore and interact with BI tools and techniques, Business Strategy, Data exploration, and Value Creation for better business decisions and evaluation.
Beyond the basics of Business Intelligence, I see myself creating ETL and using advanced big data-related tools like Spark and Hadoop to solve advanced data-related problems and add value to the world of IT. The BDMA curriculum not only provides me an opportunity to learn from the best hands, but it also prepares and positions me for a long burning career desire.
Billions of data are being generated from all we do and everything that occurs in the world today and to further make plans to help prepare us for what may come next, advanced data analytics skills are required and I see myself with a burning rage to contribute to this career path that I have come to love.
I strongly feel I am the best fit for this program because I have the required blend of background knowledge (Computer Science and the Business) that would help me quickly understand what will be taught and how it relates to our day to day activities. Hence, this would help me apply and display a better understanding of Business Intelligence in decision making to further improve this sector.
 
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teechar

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Were you given any guidelines about what to include in your letter and the word limit?
What's the submission deadline?
 

Nafee

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Were you given any guidelines about what to include in your letter and the word limit?
What's the submission deadline?


The instruction said - A letter motivating your interest and application for BDMA. Carefully explain your competitive background and your professional perspectives and how BDMA will help you in achieving them and hence the reasons you should be elected and granted in front of others.

No word limit and the application hasn't opened yet. However, I am trying to prepare ahead of time.
 

teechar

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I am writing [STRIKE]to you[/STRIKE] to express my [STRIKE] utmost [/STRIKE] interest and motivation to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Masters Scholarship in Big Data Management and Analytics Program for September 2021.

[STRIKE] My name is Nafisah, I am a graduate of [/STRIKE] I obtained a Bachelor of Computer Science degree in 2020 [ 1] from the Federal University of Technology Minna (FUTMINNA), Nigeria, one of the leading technology universities [STRIKE] in the areas of Technology [/STRIKE] in Nigeria.

My passion and desire to study computer science started when I applied for my Remedial Studies at The Center for Preliminary and Extra-Mural affairs in FUTMINNA. It was there that I discovered my love and passion for mathematics and I decided to enroll for in a full-time program in computer science. The ICT labs, amazing lecturers, and [STRIKE]well-equipped[/STRIKE] course contents helped me [STRIKE] grasp [/STRIKE] establish a solid foundation in computing. With my [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] determination to succeed and apt attention in the classroom, I graduated with a 4.50 CGPA [STRIKE] with [/STRIKE] (5.0 being the highest possible). [STRIKE] attainable CGPA. [/STRIKE]

[STRIKE] Asides from [/STRIKE] Alongside my academic study, I took part in leadership and community development activities, and I received several [STRIKE] recognitions [/STRIKE]awards for my contributions, both form my colleagues and from my lecturers. I was also awarded a Certificate of Commendation from the ISACA student board where I served as the Vice President of the Student Group.

The courses I took in my undergraduate [STRIKE] days [/STRIKE] degree helped prepare me for the world of IT and helped me [STRIKE] streamline [/STRIKE]make my decision to work with data. Having taken classes in database management, data mining, artificial intelligence, data warehousing, object-oriented programming, operational research amongst others, I began to nurse a desire to work and further my skills in the field of data management and analytics. [STRIKE] Having been fascinated by what I had learned in the classroom, I decided to hone my skills by carrying out [/STRIKE] Furthermore, my undergraduate thesis, titled “Classification of Breast Cancer using Relevance Vector Machine", was in the field of machine learning. [STRIKE] My thesis was titled “Classification of Breast Cancer using Relevance Vector Machine”. [/STRIKE] It was my first research work and it helped enrich my knowledge as I had to review several publications before deciding on the algorithm to adopt. This thesis helped me understand what research entailed and how to write research papers. A paper [STRIKE] publication [/STRIKE] was [STRIKE] drawn [/STRIKE] published out of this research work titled “Breast Cancer Classification Algorithm: A review”. [STRIKE] which was published at a conference. [/STRIKE]

To further hone my skills, I am currently taking the Udacity Nanodegree in Data Analytics and I have carried out several projects using Python and SQL, [STRIKE] and this is [/STRIKE] in addition to other online courses that I enrolled in.

After completing my graduate studies, I started working as an IT Service Delivery Analyst (Intern) with XXX, a renowned financial technology institution in Nigeria. In my current role, I work [STRIKE] majorly with [/STRIKE] mostly on interpreting and analyzing data for the business using Excel, Power BI and Tableau, and with a solid background in SQL and programming, I can quickly understand and write DAX equations and formulas to solve data-related problems where necessary. In such a short time, I have come to garner [STRIKE] so much [/STRIKE] a reasonable level of knowledge, technical skills, and experience that will allow me to excel as a member of this program. [STRIKE] Based on [/STRIKE] Due to my [STRIKE] impressive and outstanding [/STRIKE] dedication, productivity and performance, I received a full-time employment offer with the firm after completing my internship. This role provides me with the opportunity to explore and interact with BI tools and techniques, and to learn about business strategy, data exploration, and value creation for better business decisions and evaluation.

Beyond the basics of business intelligence, I see myself creating ETL and using advanced big-data-related tools like Spark and Hadoop to solve advanced data-related problems and add value to the world of IT. The BDMA curriculum not only provides me an opportunity to learn from the best hands, but it also prepares and positions me for a [STRIKE]long burning[/STRIKE] career in my desired area.

I strongly feel I am [STRIKE] the best fit [/STRIKE] a suitable candidate for this program because I have the required blend of background knowledge (computer science and [STRIKE] the [/STRIKE] business) that would help me quickly understand the course material [STRIKE] what will be taught [/STRIKE] and how it can be applied in the real world. [STRIKE] relates to our day to day activities. Hence, this would help me apply and display a better understanding of Business Intelligence in decision making to further improve this sector.[/STRIKE]

I thank you for considering my application and look forward to your reply.
[1]: Insert actual year.
 

emsr2d2

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Note that teechar has inserted an empty line between paragraphs. Your original solid block of text with no empty lines was almost unreadable.
 

Nafee

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teechar

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You're welcome, and good luck with your application.
 

emsr2d2

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