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  1. #21
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Maybe better:

    between reality and unreality
    Not a professional teacher

  2. #22
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    I would appreciate others to let me know what they think about these two:

    1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He crashed on the bed to get the one hundred hours of sleep he needed but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long to realize he was in for a rough, long night.


    2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children but he could not touch them.

  3. #23
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    I would appreciate it if people would let me know what they think about these two:

    1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He got in bed to get the one hundred hours of sleep he needed, but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was in for a rough, long night.


    2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children but he could not touch them.
    I would say:

    between the resl and the unreal

    Or:

    between reality and unreality.

    He's in the twilight zone.
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  4. #24
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Thanks Tarheel.

    Now let's see what others think about these two:

    1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He got in bed to get the one hundred hours of sleep he needed, but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was in for a rough, long night.


    2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children but he could not touch them.

  5. #25
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Thanks Tarheel.

    Now let's see what others think about these two:

    1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He got in bed to get the one hundred hours of sleep he needed, but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was in for a long, rough night.

    2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children, but he could not touch them.
    They're good.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  6. #26
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein View Post
    They're good.
    Thanks you Charlie for your immeasurable contributions. You are making a big difference.

  7. #27
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Can you guess where Charlie and I differ?
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  8. #28
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Can you guess where Charlie and I differ?
    Are you talking about "the" before real and unreal?

  9. #29
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    I would appreciate others to it if you would let me know what they you think about these two:

    1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He crashed [down] onto the bed to get the one hundred hundred/100 hours of sleep he needed but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness a deep sleep, only to bounce out suddenly wake up again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize he was in for a long, rough , long night.
    See above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  10. #30
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: teetering between sleep and wakefulness

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Are you talking about "the" before real and unreal?
    That too. I meant I would leave "one" in front of "hundred".
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