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  1. #11
    tree123 is offline Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Mildly off-topic: Be aware that becoming slightly obsessed with a vlogger and moving house to be near her could easily be mistaken for stalking!
    I knew. That's just my way to express how I appreciate her, her life and the local culture of hers. I don't really intend to move there so I use 'wish'. I enjoy that TYPE of persons. In Post 6, I've said friendship is based on mutual appreciation. It is not a one-way ticket. I have my own pride and don't beg for friendship. On the website, mostly I follow many people who are good at cooking and computer programming.

    There are many interesting people who are not living in my world and I can't possibly reach them in reality. I just like them, enjoy their programs, but nothing else. Just like Mr Pink in another piece of my writing, I also like him very much. My feeling to Xiajie is not very different from my feeling to Mr Pink. It's just pure appreciation only.
    Wishing to live around interesting, or talented people and to get to know them are not morally or psychologically ill.

    If I like someone, but they don't like me. That's fine. I never ever try to stalk or hassrass them. I don't send a PM to her either, but comment positively publicly below her videos.
    I can't say I obsess' with her, not even 'slightly obsess', but like her very much. She is one of my favorite video bloggers. I don't develop any abnormal feelings to her or anyone else. Nor will I possibly do that like a pervert to stalk someone or peep into their private life behind the curtain.

    When people feel bad, it is not unusual that they pick some interesting movies to watch and forget about frustration. This is like what I do when I watch her videos.

    I don't know what
    her real full name is and where she exactly lives except for the name of the province. Xie Jie is just her username and short of her name. I don't ask.

    Presumably I really want to move to the place where she lives, I definitely will ask for her address. In other words, I'll get her permission with my righteous reasons and purpose -- I like her as a friend, enjoy country life, enjoy local culture and I'd like to learn cooking from her. How could this be possibly considered being stalking?

    I am talking about her here is because I'd like to practise my English writing.
    Last edited by tree123; 22-Sep-2020 at 13:32.

  2. #12
    tree123 is offline Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    I accidently read a post of GoodTaste's. S/he was asking about 'fighting God'. The source is from CNN. Some of you questioned why s/he kept posting political questions, because politics is not welcome on the forum. Actually I can possibly understand or assume why s/he asked that. Reading reports from English media outlets is one of the ways we learn genuine English. That was what I did before. CNN is the one of the mainstream of American media outlets. I think we are not trying to make you people to argue about politcs. That's a language question.

    It's not my intention to publicly display my admiration to Xie Jie, Mr Pink, someone else, or other of my personal life on the forum either. Actually I don't feel very comfortable, but just okay.

    I feel it is not easy to find a topic to learn and exercise English without misunderstanding or questioning.

    Not offence.
    Last edited by tree123; 22-Sep-2020 at 12:41.

  3. #13
    tree123 is offline Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    I am neither a man nor a lebsian. I'm not a bi either. Yes, I'm a woman and straight. She is married. Judging my innocent wish and innocent admiration to her with the words of 'slightly obsessed' and 'mistaken stalking' that are too much for me to bear. I am upset when I think about your wording again.

    I'm sure many people will be upset if they're in my shoes.

    I grew up in cities and have been living in cities. I really like country in my imagination and people there who generally are way less pretentious, so the customs, their lives and their personalites are attractive to me. I incline to openly express my admiration to many people no matter they are men or women, but nothing else beyond that. I don't romantically fancy Mr Pink either when I say everyone loves him.


    I like very educated, intelligent and sophisticated people. So she cannot be my role model. I don't think I am being paradoxical.
    Last edited by tree123; 22-Sep-2020 at 14:32.

  4. #14
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    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    Quote Originally Posted by tree123 View Post
    Xia Jie is a video blogger of homemade cuisine. I follow her in a video-sharing website because I'd like to learn to cook. Later, I found that her delicious dishes have become my side dishes, while her country lifestyle, personality and the local culture have become my main dish.

    She has a bright, care-free smile, and she looks unpretentious. The day before yesterday, I locked myself out, and had to ask a locksmith to open the door for me. I felt blue. It was a real cure to click one of her videos. My frustration was melting in her big smile, evaporating in the blue sky.

    'How good it would be to be Xia Jie's neighbor.' This idea often pops in my mind when I watch her videos.

    P.S. This is the second part of my writing about Xia Jie. The relevant first part is entitled 'Chinese Country Song'. I think it is too long to request for proofreading here if I write too much in a post.
    There you go!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  5. #15
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    Quote Originally Posted by tree123 View Post
    I am neither a man nor a lebsian. I'm not a bi either. Yes, I'm a woman and straight. She Xia Jie is married. Judging me based on my innocent wish and innocent admiration to for her with and using the words of 'slightly obsessed' and 'mistaken for stalking',that are too much for me to bear. I am upset when I think about your wordsing again.

    I'm sure many people will be upset too if they're in my shoes.

    I grew up in cities and have been living in cities. I really like the country in my imagination and to imagine the people there who generally are way less pretentious. Their customs, their lives way of life and their personalites are attractive attitude appeal to me. I am inclined to openly express my admiration to for many people no matter they are men or women, but nothing else beyond that. I don't romantically fancy Mr Pink either when I say everyone loves him.


    I like very educated, intelligent and sophisticated people. So she cannot be my role model. I don't think I am being paradoxical.

    I don't think emsr2d2 was being serious when she wrote about the possibility of you being obsessed and wanting to live near her like a stalker. I believe her comments were made with tongue in cheek. So, there is no need to be too sensitive about what she wrote. Anyway, it has been a good exercise as it has provoked you to express your inner thoughts and feelings on the subject.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  6. #16
    Piscean is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    I don't think emsr2d2 was being serious when she wrote about the possibility of you being obsessed and wanting to live near her like a stalker. I believe her comments were made with tongue in cheek..
    I had been thinking about submitting a similar post when emsr2d2 saved me the bother. I wouldn't have been writing tongue in cheek.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 22-Sep-2020 at 18:34. Reason: Fixed typo
    Typoman - writer of rongs

  7. #17
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    Quote Originally Posted by Piscean View Post
    I had been thinking about submitting a similar post when emsr2d2 saved me the bother. I wouldn't have been writing tongue in cheek.
    I'm glad to hear it wasn't just me. I'm sorry if tree123 was upset by it but I meant it. At the time I wrote that, it sounded as if she was seriously considering moving closer to the vlogger and trying to be friends. That is simply creepy, regardless of the gender or sexual orientation. It did not sound like "innocent admiration".
    Tree123, if you had made it clear in the first posts that you weren't serious about doing that, I probably wouldn't have written my post. Just think more carefully about how your comments might be interpreted in future.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. #18
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    I don't think tree123 sounded serious in the first post. It was more like a dream or fantasy of typical youngsters for some famous personality that they adore.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  9. #19
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    I don't think tree123 sounded serious in the first post. It was more like a dream or fantasy of typical youngsters for some famous personality that they adore.
    Same here. That's how it sounded to me. But no harm done. Better safe than sorry. Glad Tree cleared it up.

    Thanks, Tree!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  10. #20
    tree123 is offline Member
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    Re: I Wish to Neighbor with Xia Jie

    I didn't know those words of mine would be intrepreted as being a stalker in English culture.

    First, this is a cultural gap.

    It's no problem if I comment below Xia Jie's videos directly -- 'I like you so much. I wish to move to your place and become your neighbor'. She and other fellow viewers probably will click many 'like' for me, and she probaly will half-hearted says 'welcome, and be my guest' if she responds, even she has no idea about my gender and my other background. Many rural people in China, especially from the North, are hospitable. (Right, I also say they probably don't welcome strangers to settle down in their villagers. That's different.)

    I've seen someone commented on other video blogger's dish, and asked the blogger to prepare dinner for s/he, because s/he is going to visit the blogger's city. The blogger clicked like on the comment.

    Xia Jie won't respond to every comment on her video clip, but I can find a video blogger of cuisine who generally will respond to many comments and post 'I like you very much, and I wish to be your neighbor' to prove their reactions are very likely to be positive if necessary. No matter I mean it or not, they won't be offended or speculate me negatively.

    In another piece of my writing, Taheel commented 'let me loose in your kitchen, and make some cookies for you'. I would NOT intrepret he was trying to stalk me or intrude into my home, but a very friendly expression. Reading that, I smiled to myself, thought to myself 'how could you to fly over here just making cookies for me? It is too far and too expensive'. Even he was serious, that would be fine. If I didn't like, I would just say 'No, thank you'!

    It is unusual for peopole who get to know each other from the Internet, and they meet in reality no matter Chinese or Weserners or other people.

    Second, presumbly I were a creepy stalker, and intended to move near to her, PESTER her, would I be that silly to openly to talk about this and invite repugnance from forum members here?

    Third, my understanding to the Western culture is not too much or thorough, I have no idea which words of mine will invite negative speculations, so how could I possibly clearly explain further as you suggest -- I am not serious about moving near to her, and I don't intend to pester her. If nothing I don't realize I should prove, why should I explain further? For example, I go to my friend's home. She needs to go out for a while and leaves me alone in the sitting room. Need I tell you all I don't steal her stuff and I have clean hands?

    Some comments are not acceptable in English-speaking culture(s), i.e. it is not appropriate to say to a woman 'you're a pretty GIRL', but that is common and welcome postive comment in China to a Chinese woman regardless of their ages. Our women like to be considered young and pretty in people's eyes. --- this is another topic I was asking because I didn't understand why a British man praises a woman out of slip of his tongue, and he needs to apologize. I met my former supervisor and his wife in the USA. She is a blonde, very pretty and slim. I couldn't help saying 'Wow, you're so beautiful' out of my heart sincerely without realizing I was dropping a brick. (I am not sexually attracted to women.) They didn't think I was trying to flirt with her or got offended. Of course, I won't say that to a Westener any more NOW.

    Forth, the setting of my writing is China, and we are Chinese. I don't regret what I've thought about Xia Jie, even if I really seriously intend to move to her place.

    I assume you won't advise Japanese not to bow to each other in Japan, and tell them 'this is not Western etiquette. Please don't keep bowing to each other. I don't tell them not to do so, if they come to China. Genereally Chinese don't bow for greetings unless very formal occasions.

    Fifth, this is an English-learning forum, and students/learners are from all over the world. The cultures of ours are not exactly same to that of English-speaking countries of yours, especially we are not other Europeans whose cultures are closer to yours.


    When Indian shake their heads, I have no idea what he really means. Sometimes, they shake their heads for 'no'; sometimes, 'yes'; sometimes, hard to tell. It depends on how they shake their heads.

    May I suggest when you people make a negative speculation or judgement on INTERNATIONAL students or learners, I hope you can verify the speakers or writers if that is what you mean or tell me "tell other people that I am going to move to someone's place" would be considered as 'stalker' in English culture? I will greatly appreciate and consider that as a cultural tip, and I won't say that to a Westerner or native speakers of English.

    Emsr2d2, I have been really very grateful that you've been very kind to me, especially proofread my writing carefully many times as well as you do to other fellow forum members' posts, answering my questions on Asking a Teacher, General Member Discussions. So do other native speakers and other people who are advanced in English, i.e. teechar, tedmc. (I am not going to name them one by one. ) I believe you were not trying to be unkind to me with that comment, but I was really very very upset. These are my honest thoughts. If I hide them in my heart too much, I will explode finally. This is about communication. If my wording sounds rude to you, I'd like to apologize, but I don't think my points shouldn't be put.
    Last edited by tree123; 23-Sep-2020 at 05:40.

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