I didn't know those words of mine would be intrepreted as being a stalker in English culture.
First, this is a cultural gap.
It's no problem if I comment below Xia Jie's videos directly -- 'I like you so much. I wish to move to your place and become your neighbor'. She and other fellow viewers probably will click many 'like' for me, and she probaly will half-hearted says 'welcome, and be my guest' if she responds, even she has no idea about my gender and my other background. Many rural people in China, especially from the North, are hospitable. (Right, I also say they probably don't welcome strangers to settle down in their villagers. That's different.)
I've seen someone commented on other video blogger's dish, and asked the blogger to prepare dinner for s/he, because s/he is going to visit the blogger's city. The blogger clicked like on the comment.
Xia Jie won't respond to every comment on her video clip, but I can find a video blogger of cuisine who generally will respond to many comments and post 'I like you very much, and I wish to be your neighbor' to prove their reactions are very likely to be positive if necessary. No matter I mean it or not, they won't be offended or speculate me negatively.
In another piece of my writing, Taheel commented 'let me loose in your kitchen, and make some cookies for you'. I would NOT intrepret he was trying to stalk me or intrude into my home, but a very friendly expression. Reading that, I smiled to myself, thought to myself 'how could you to fly over here just making cookies for me? It is too far and too expensive'. Even he was serious, that would be fine. If I didn't like, I would just say 'No, thank you'!
It is unusual for peopole who get to know each other from the Internet, and they meet in reality no matter Chinese or Weserners or other people.
Second, presumbly I were a creepy stalker, and intended to move near to her, PESTER her, would I be that silly to openly to talk about this and invite repugnance from forum members here?
Third, my understanding to the Western culture is not too much or thorough, I have no idea which words of mine will invite negative speculations, so how could I possibly clearly explain further as you suggest -- I am not serious about moving near to her, and I don't intend to pester her. If nothing I don't realize I should prove, why should I explain further? For example, I go to my friend's home. She needs to go out for a while and leaves me alone in the sitting room. Need I tell you all I don't steal her stuff and I have clean hands?
Some comments are not acceptable in English-speaking culture(s), i.e. it is not appropriate to say to a woman 'you're a pretty GIRL', but that is common and welcome postive comment in China to a Chinese woman regardless of their ages. Our women like to be considered young and pretty in people's eyes. --- this is another topic I was asking because I didn't understand why a British man praises a woman out of slip of his tongue, and he needs to apologize. I met my former supervisor and his wife in the USA. She is a blonde, very pretty and slim. I couldn't help saying 'Wow, you're so beautiful' out of my heart sincerely without realizing I was dropping a brick. (I am not sexually attracted to women.) They didn't think I was trying to flirt with her or got offended. Of course, I won't say that to a Westener any more NOW.
Forth, the setting of my writing is China, and we are Chinese. I don't regret what I've thought about Xia Jie, even if I really seriously intend to move to her place.
I assume you won't advise Japanese not to bow to each other in Japan, and tell them 'this is not Western etiquette. Please don't keep bowing to each other. I don't tell them not to do so, if they come to China. Genereally Chinese don't bow for greetings unless very formal occasions.
Fifth, this is an English-learning forum, and students/learners are from all over the world. The cultures of ours are not exactly same to that of English-speaking countries of yours, especially we are not other Europeans whose cultures are closer to yours.
When Indian shake their heads, I have no idea what he really means. Sometimes, they shake their heads for 'no'; sometimes, 'yes'; sometimes, hard to tell. It depends on how they shake their heads.
May I suggest when you people make a negative speculation or judgement on INTERNATIONAL students or learners, I hope you can verify the speakers or writers if that is what you mean or tell me "tell other people that I am going to move to someone's place" would be considered as 'stalker' in English culture? I will greatly appreciate and consider that as a cultural tip, and I won't say that to a Westerner or native speakers of English.
Emsr2d2, I have been really very grateful that you've been very kind to me, especially proofread my writing carefully many times as well as you do to other fellow forum members' posts, answering my questions on Asking a Teacher, General Member Discussions. So do other native speakers and other people who are advanced in English, i.e. teechar, tedmc. (I am not going to name them one by one. ) I believe you were not trying to be unkind to me with that comment, but I was really very very upset. These are my honest thoughts. If I hide them in my heart too much, I will explode finally. This is about communication. If my wording sounds rude to you, I'd like to apologize, but I don't think my points shouldn't be put.
