When I was young, I met a couple. (51 words)

[Silverobama]

Hi.

I was trying to narattive something happened to me when I was young, which was quite impressive.

When I was young, I often met a couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed by what they were doing because I like English very much. I swore to myself, I would speak English like them one day.

Would you please rewrite my narrative to make it natural and like a story which I could use to share others with one day?

[Tarheel]

Hi.

I was trying to narrate something that happened to me when I was young, which was quite impressive.



Would you please rewrite my narrative to make it natural and like a story which I could use to share with others one day?

I don't see it.

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

When I was young I often saw a couple that lived in the same apartment complex I did. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed with that because I like English very much. I swore to myself that I would speak English like them one day.

[teechar]

I would use "I vowed" instead of "I swore to myself". Were they native English speakers?

[Silverobama]

I would use "I vowed" instead of "I swore to myself". Were they native English speakers?

It's very kind of you, teechar.

They are not native speakers but Chinese. That's why I was impressed by them. I wonder if I need change the rest of my sentences.

When I was young, I often met a couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed by what they were doing because I like English very much. I vowed, I would speak English like them one day.

Or your suggestion is based on the version of Tarheel, which is a good one?

When I was young I often saw a couple that lived in the same apartment complex I did. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed with that because I like English very much. I vowed that I would speak English like them one day.

[teechar]

Take out "by what they were doing" from the first, and consider using "local couple" to clarify the meaning. The second is okay, but I would use "who" instead of "that" in it.

[Silverobama]

Take out "by what they were doing" from the first, and consider using "local couple" to clarify the meaning.

When I was young, I often met a couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed by the local couple because I like English very much. I vowed, I would speak English like them one day.

Is this better?

[Tarheel]

Two things. One, where are you getting those extra commas from? Two, despite teechar's suggestion, you don't need to mention that they were a local couple. They lived where you did.

[teechar]

Is this better?
When I was young, I often met a local couple who lived in the same building complex as me. They talked to each other in English. I was impressed by the local couple because I like English very much. I vowed I would speak English like them one day.

Note the position of "local".

[tedmc]

Two things. One, where are you getting those extra commas from? Two, despite teechar's suggestion, you don't need to mention that they were a local couple. They lived where you did.

It wouldn't have been impressive to listen to the couple speaking if they were native speakers of English, would it?