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  1. Key Member
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    #1

    their lungs blackened

    Hello.

    Can I say people's lungs are blackened as a result of pollution?

    What do you think about what I've written?

    Their lungs were blackened by the soot of the relentless smog that always hovered above the city.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: their lungs blackened

    It's OK, but you missed "were" out of your title. "Their lungs blackened" wouldn't work there. Using "relentless" and "always" is somewhat tautologous.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Key Member
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    #3

    Re: their lungs blackened

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    It's OK, but you missed "were" out of your title. "Their lungs blackened" wouldn't work there. Using "relentless" and "always" is somewhat tautologous.

    Is there a literary alternative for "hover above the city"?

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: their lungs blackened

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Hello.

    Can I say people's lungs are blackened as a result of pollution?

    What do you think about what I've written?

    Their lungs were blackened by the soot of the relentless smog that always hovered above the city.
    It's pretty good.

    You might want to say about the smog that it was ever-present
    Not a professional teacher

  5. VIP Member
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    #5

    Re: their lungs blackened

    I thought "hover" is used with moving things like a helicopter or a bird.
    How about "casting a pall over the city"?
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  6. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #6

    Re: their lungs blackened

    Covered the city

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