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    #1

    First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    Hi. I was chatting with a friend in an English club. I told him that I am thinking about being a talk show host because my life is really boring. Then he asked me “How to be a talk show host in our city”. I answered like:

    First you need to have a platform where you can give talk shows, I heard that there are some in Jie Fang Bei. Then you need to see if you have a high audience rate, which means people like your jokes and performance. You know, talk show hosts are usually part-timers, they are not earning money before becoming known to others. Finally, you need to glean more jokes and well-prepared yourself, always ready to render the best of yourself.

    Please just help me with the italic part to save your time.

    The words might be confusing:

    Platform: a place where you can perform.
    Jie Fang Bei: downtown of Chongqing.
    Render the best of yourself: to be always ready for the shows, always well-prepared and always ready to learn more about being a good talk show host.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    If you were at English club and your friend asked "How to be a talk show host in our city?", the first thing you should have done is tell them that we don't start questions with "How to" in English! You should know that by now, having been on this forum for ten years.

    I realise I haven't just dealt with the italic part (in fact, I haven't even reached that part yet) but I think the point above is more important.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    If you were at English club and your friend asked "How to be a talk show host in our city?", the first thing you should have done is tell them that we don't start questions with "How to" in English! You should know that by now, having been on this forum for ten years.

    I realise I haven't just dealt with the italic part (in fact, I haven't even reached that part yet) but I think the point above is more important.
    Definitely right, emsr2d2. I appreciate your help and thanks for pointing out my mistakes.

    It should be "How do you become a talk show host in our city"?

    Is it better now?

    Also, much appreciated for your help in my proofreading threads.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    “How to be a talk show host in our city”.
    That's correct, natural and possible, but not here.
    It can work as a heading for a magazine article, for example.
    What you should say here is:
    How do you become a talk show host in your city?
    or
    How does one become a talk show host in your city?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    First, you need to have a platform. where you can give talk shows, [ 1] I heard that there are some [ 2] in Jie Fang Bei. Then, you need to see if you can achieve a high rating, have a high audience rate, which means people like your jokes and performance. You know, talk show hosts are usually part-timers,[ 3] they are not earning money before becoming known to others. Finally, you need to glean more jokes and well-prepared yourself, always ready to render the best of yourself. [ 4]
    [ 1]: Comma splice error.
    [ 2]: Some what?
    [ 3]: Another comma splice error, and the sentence that follows is vague.
    [ 4]: That's unnatural, and the meaning is again vague. Remember that as we say more about an idea (in writing or speech), we usually zoom onto it somehow, such as by giving examples or by providing more-specific details.

  5. Key Member
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    #5

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    Remember that as we say more about an idea (in writing or speech), we usually zoom onto it somehow, such as by giving examples or by providing more-specific details.
    Got it! Let me give it a new try. Please take a look at the following new version.

    -How does one become a talk show host in your city?
    -First, you need to find a platform. I heard that there are some platforms for a future talk show host to perform in the city. Then, you need to see if you can achieve a high rating, which means people like your jokes and performance. You know, talk show hosts are usually part-timers because they have their own jobs. If they don't have a high rating, I don't think it's sensible to continue. Finally, I think if someone really wants to be a talk show host, he/she has many things to learn and prepare, so it's best to equip yourself with enough knowledge of how to be a talk show host.

    I think the above new italic version is a bit better and clearer. Please take a look at again, teachers.

    I used "platform" to mean "a place, a stage for talk show newbies to give free talk to see if they are liked by the audience", if not, they'll quit.

  6. teechar's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    I heard that there are some platforms opportunities/openings for a future talk show host to perform in the city.
    "Platform" means a vehicle for delivery, for example: radio, TV, or some website.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    Then,
    That suggests a sequence, but there is no logical sequence between the sentence below and the one above. Therefore, omit that "Then".

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    you need to see if you can achieve a high rating, which means people like your jokes and performance. You know, talk show hosts are usually part-timers because they have their own other jobs. If they don't have one/you can't achieve a high rating, I don't think it's sensible to continue. Finally, I think if someone really wants to be a talk show host, he/she has many things to learn and prepare, so it's best to equip yourself with enough knowledge of how to be a talk show host.
    That underlined part is still vague.

  7. Key Member
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    #7

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    Much appreciated, teechar.

    Let me try again:

    First, you need to find a stage where you can give your show. I heard that there are some openings/opportunities for a talk show host in this city. You also need to see if you can achieve a high rating, which means people like your jokes and performance. You know, talk show hosts are usually part-timers because they have other jobs. If one can't achieve a high rating, I don't think it's sensible to continue. Finally, I think if someone really wants to be a talk show host, he/she has many things to learn. For example, watching talk shows of successful talk show hosts and gather more jokes from one's daily life. Why? Because art is from life.
    Sorry for making this longer, but I think this time is very good now. Please enlighten me again! I already checked many times. I also made minor changes to make the passage clearer.

  8. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverobama View Post
    First, you need to find [ 1] a stage where you can give your show. I heard that there are some openings/opportunities for a talk show host in this city. You also need to see if you can achieve a high rating, which means people like your jokes and performance. You know, talk show hosts are usually part-timers because they have other jobs. If one can't achieve a high rating, I don't think it's sensible to continue. Finally, I think if someone really wants to be a talk show host, he/she has many things to learn. For example, they need to watching talk shows of observe and learn from successful talk show hosts and gather more jokes from one's daily life. [ 2] Why? Because art is from life. [ 3]
    [ 1]: That’s unnatural. Try:
    “First, you need to find a suitable opportunity. I heard that there are some openings for a talk show host ...”
    [ 2]: That’s no good. Consider:
    “build up a broad repertoire of catchy phrases and snappy jokes, puns and punchlines to use in their show”.
    [ 3]: No. Again: don’t try to coin your own idioms. That never works.

  9. Key Member
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    #9

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    First, you need to find a suitable opportunity. I heard that there are some openings for talk show hosts in this city. You also need to see if you can achieve a high rating, which means people like your jokes and performance. You know, talk show hosts are usually part-timers because they have other jobs. If one can't achieve a high rating, I don't think it's sensible to continue. Finally, I think if someone really wants to be a talk show host, he/she has many things to learn. For example, they need to observe and learn from successful talk show hosts and build up a broad repertoire of catchy phrases and snappy jokes, puns and punchlines to use in their show. That would really help matter.
    Much appreciated, teechar.

    I wonder if I can add the red sentence to as a conclusion. If not, would you please write me an alternative.
    Also, I changed "some openings for a talk show host..." to "....for talk show hosts". Do you think it's better. I changed it because I think there are more than one person who wants to work as a talk show host. If you're not busy, please take a look at this new version again.
    Last edited by Silverobama; 24-Oct-2020 at 11:46. Reason: adding two new questions

  10. teechar's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: First you need to have a platform...(79 words)

    No. The expression is "That/it would really help matters", but it means help solve/alleviate some problem, so it doesn't work in the above context. If you really want to add something, try: "That would be a good start".

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