Re: I wish to apply for an expedited visa interview appointment.
Ocharo, in addition to looking carefully at the corrections that teechar made, note that he put an empty line space between each paragraph. That's important when laying out a letter (or an essay) because it makes it so much easier to read. I'm sure you will agree that teechar's new version is much more pleasant to look at than your original.
Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.