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  1. #1
    kennai is offline Newbie
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    Post Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    I have written a Motivation Letter for my master's scholarship in Australia. I need somebody to check my writing whether this could be improved or not. Thank you in advance


    My passion for data science started when I trained in a short course with a computer institute in (Country Name). I found that data are powerful tools which can help business with analyzing the mass of data and making decisions. My first Master's degree was in Big Data Analytics, but since the course that I studied in the UK was only 1 year, and the undergraduate background is linguistic, so I still thought that the knowledge was not enough to further study at the Ph.D. level. Moreover, when I saw (Researcher name)'s research, it was very close to the research that I was interested in geography and climate analysis. It made me feel more like studying with this professor in order to improve my analytical skills in areas of interest. For this reason, I would like to continue my next degree at the (University Name).

    Throughout my years of study at prominent educational institutions in the UK, I have proved an outstanding level of academic performance and have shown particular strength in social science study that requires analytical and speculative methods. For my Master‘s dissertation, I studied in the topic “Mental Health Effects of the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant Disaster to explore the effect of people after the nuclear plant disaster” that how the people affect their mind and work. Also, how many people's lifestyles have changed from before. My thesis, according to my advisor who has expertise in data science many years in the UK and USA.

    After working in the data analysis area for more than 4 years, I have acquired huge experience in many aspects of these jobs. It gives me a big picture of machine learning and AI should be able to help within the business, such as predicting sales trends, using statistics to predict customer annuity trends of each year, or using it with ETL in the payment process with real-time machine learning. My project at (Company A) focused on tracking car buyers whether they have visited the service center to check the car condition as scheduled or not and analyze potential customers who may come back to buy the car again. I also worked closely with the sales department to predict what future sales prospects will be. After that, at (Company B), I had to study ways to keep overdue tracking customers and analyze a person's behavior so that I was able to assess which debtors were likely to fail to pay the debt on schedule. Therefore, I would like to study how to use machine learning for preprocessing and use real-time data and business reports through automated ETL processes. Furthermore, with the SAS BI project, I joined to analysis of variance and models which was used to relate the factors considered, analyze the differences among the different user requirements and finally perform on the dashboard

    I strongly believe that a Master in Data Science, with focus on Advanced Machine Learning and Special Topic in Regression, would certainly be valuable in allowing me to catch my goals. At the same time, it would also let me to engage my conceptual and quantitative experiences in analyzing complex business problems, beginning new ways in research. With (Researcher name)'s research in ‘Machine Learning for Extreme Event Detection’. I would also like to study how the future climate in the Asia Pacific region will change as a result of global warming. I wanted to predict the critical damage locations, and data streams using machine learning approaches. I expect this research to be able to calculate storm paths, determine the duration of storms most frequently to strike, and use machine learning techniques to find out where the storm is most likely to have a major impact around the Asia Pacific.

    With these experiences, I am satisfied I can provide the best assistance to your research area. Moreover, the reputation of high-quality education standards and faculty members are the main factors that have encouraged me to apply for this scholarship. Finally, I desire to catch up on my dream to be a professional in data analyst that will benefit many people. Completing this degree should provide the experience for me to achieve my aspirations.

  2. #2
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    Were you given any guidelines for the letter (word count, areas to cover)?
    Also, what's the submission deadline?

  3. #3
    kennai is offline Newbie
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Were you given any guidelines for the letter (word count, areas to cover)?
    Also, what's the submission deadline?
    They did not inform about word count but deadline within Mar 2021 (Open within Feb 2021).

    Thank you

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    Quote Originally Posted by kennai View Post
    They did not inform me about what the word count should be but the deadline is within March 2021 (open within February 2021).

    Thank you.
    Please note my corrections above. Remember to write full sentences and complete words on the forum - it's good practice for you. I don't know what you mean by "open February 2021". Do you mean that you can submit your letter from February 1st and that the last day you can submit it is March 30th? A deadline is a specific date, not "within" a particular month.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    kennai is offline Newbie
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Please note my corrections above. Remember to write full sentences and complete words on the forum - it's good practice for you. I don't know what you mean by "open February 2021". Do you mean that you can submit your letter from February 1st and that the last day you can submit it is March 30th? A deadline is a specific date, not "within" a particular month.
    Thank you for your correction. My grammar is not good and how about my essay? Is it ok?

    Thank you

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    Thank you for your corrections. My grammar is not good. and How about my essay? Is it okay/OK?

    Thank you.
    Quote Originally Posted by kennai View Post
    I have written a motivation letter for my Master's scholarship in Australia. I need somebody to would be grateful if someone would check my writing and tell me whether this it could be improved or not. Thank you in advance.


    My passion for data science started when I trained in took a short course with a computer institute in (country name).

    I found learnt that data science are is a powerful tools tool which that can help businesses with analyzing [to] analyze the mass of data they deal with and making to make decisions.

    My first Master's degree was in Big Data Analytics, but since because the UK course that I studied in the UK was lasted/took only 1 one year, and the undergraduate background is linguistic, so I still thought that the my knowledge was not extensive enough to further study at the Ph.D. level.

    Moreover, when I saw (researcher name)'s research, I realised that it was very closely linked to the research that I was interested in - geography and climate analysis.

    It made me feel more like increased my interest in studying with this professor in order to improve my analytical skills in my specific areas of interest.

    For this reason, I would like to continue my next degree at the (university name).
    I don't have time to look at the entire letter so I have made corrections to your opening post and to the first paragraph of your letter. I have put each sentence on a separate line just to make it easier to read.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. #7
    kennai is offline Newbie
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    Thank you for your comment


    I'm not sure if this essay's reason is strong enough or not.


    Thank you

  8. #8
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    Quote Originally Posted by kennai View Post
    Thank you for your comment.

    I'm not sure if this essay's reason my motivation is comes across as strong enough. or not.

    Thank you.
    Note my corrections above. You must end every sentence with a punctuation mark.

    In future, please don't write posts to say "Thank you" at all. You should click the "Thank" button instead.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  9. #9
    kennai is offline Newbie
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    I'm not sure if my motivation comes across as strong enough.

    Could you advise me?

    Thanks
    Last edited by kennai; 25-Nov-2020 at 17:27.

  10. #10
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: Motivation letter for scholarship in data science

    I think you could elaborate a bit on your future hopes/aspirations and how this master's can help you achieve your goals.

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