[Grammar] He wants to discuss his concerns over pricing and availability of Company bulk materi

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Volodymyr

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I wrote the text below. Could you please check it and input some edits if it needed?

Dear John,

Phil is a Head of Sales Department, Chemical Products for Laboratories and Manufacture at Company B, which is our diler for TTT products in Ukraine.


Could you please send to Phil at <email address removed> an invitation to the tomorrow our online meeting?


He wants to discuss his concerns over pricing and availability of Company bulk materials which could impact relationship with key Ukrainian pharma manufacturers.
 
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PeterCW

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I wrote the text below. Could you please check it and input some edits if it needed?

Dear John,

Phil is [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] Head of Sales [strike]Department[/strike] for Chemical Products for Laboratories and Manufacture at Company B, which is our dealer in Ukraine.


Could you please send [strike]to[/strike] Phil [strike]at[/strike] (email address removed} an invitation to [strike]the tomorrow[/strike] our online meeting tomorrow?


He wants to discuss his concerns over the pricing and availability of Company bulk materials which could impact our relationship with key Ukrainian pharma manufacturers.

I have corrected this as I would have corrected a business communication during my working life. I give no warrenty about strict adherence to the rules of grammar but will guarantee that it is natural British business English.
 
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Tarheel

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Dear John,
Phil is a Head of Sales Department, Chemical Products for Laboratories and Manufacture at Company B, which is our dealer for TTT products in Ukraine.

I don't think "head" is an official title. (I wouldn't capitalize it anyway.) Also, if it's the name of a department or company capitalize it. Otherwise, no.
 

tedmc

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I don't think "head" is an official title. (I wouldn't capitalize it anyway.) Also, if it's the name of a department or company capitalize it. Otherwise, no.

There should not be an indefinite article to go with the job title.

The correct spelling is warranty in Post #2
 

Tarheel

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Also, company is not a proper noun.
 
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