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  1. #1
    Yueehs is offline Newbie
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    Need help with job pitch

    Hi,

    I am applying for a job and there is a column where I need to put my job pitch. Would you be able to help me check if it's grammatically correct?

    Here is my job pitch:

    Throughout my 8 years of experience working with various department and over 10 years of supervising role, I know what it takes to become a good HR administrator. My experience in overseeing maintenance department proven that I am capable of managing difficult tasks even without prior experience.



    Thank you very much :)

  2. #2
    Yueehs is offline Newbie
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    Need help with job pitch

    Hi,

    I am applying for a job and there is a column where I need to put my job pitch in 300 characters. Would you be able to help me check if it's grammatically correct?

    Here is my job pitch:

    Throughout my 8 years of experience working with various department and over 10 years of supervising role, I know what it takes to become a good HR administrator. My experience in overseeing maintenance department proven that I am capable of managing difficult tasks even without prior experience.



    Thank you very much :)

  3. #3
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    Yueehs, please do not post the same question to more than one section of the forum. Please be patient and wait for replies.
    Last edited by teechar; 29-Nov-2020 at 16:23. Reason: edit

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    I have merged the two threads.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    Yueehs is offline Newbie
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    Thank you all.

    Sorry about the double post. I am not familiar with this forum yet.
    I thought all question must be posted in the Teacher section.

    I tried to delete it but I don't know how.

    Sorry about that.

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    Quote Originally Posted by Yueehs View Post
    Thank you all.

    Sorry about the double post. I am not familiar with this forum yet.
    I thought all question must be posted in the Teacher section.

    I tried to delete it but I don't know how.

    Sorry about that.
    Don't worry. You now know that we have different sections for different subjects. I have merged the two threads now so there's nothing to delete.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. #7
    Glizdka is online now Senior Member
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    Not a teacher
    ------


    Here's my opinion:

    Quote Originally Posted by Yueehs View Post
    Throughout my 8 years of experience working with various departments and over 10 years of supervising role as a supervisor, I know have learned what it takes to become a good HR administrator.
    I think it reads better this way.



    Quote Originally Posted by Yueehs View Post
    My experience in overseeing maintenance department proven that I am capable of managing difficult tasks even without prior experience.
    This part doesn't make sense. How does your experience prove that you're capable of managing tasks without prior experience?


    Perhaps: "Over the years overseeing the maintenance department, I have proved that I am capable of managing difficult tasks even without prior experience."
    Last edited by Glizdka; 29-Nov-2020 at 11:25.

  8. #8
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    Yueehs, don't try to put too much into one sentence. And please don't use the phrase prior experience. (It just means experience.)
    Not a professional teacher

  9. #9
    Yueehs is offline Newbie
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    Thank you all :)
    really appreciate it

  10. #10
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Need help with job pitch

    Quote Originally Posted by Yueehs View Post
    Thank you all.

    :)

    I really appreciate it.
    Remember to end every sentence with one appropriate punctuation mark and start every sentence with a capital letter. Don't try to make your own emoticons - if you really need one, click the icon in the toolbar and choose one. An emoticon is never an acceptable replacement for a closing punctuation mark.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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