[General] Sha ping ba English Corner is an 8-year-old(77 words)

[Silverobama]

Please help me with the following Italic paragraph. It's an introduction of my English club. I want to spread the word about the English club (English Corner)

Sha ping ba English Corner is an 8-year-old offline English activity * where people meet and speak English every week. It was originally held in Chongqing Normal University. The host Alex promised a lifelong free-of-charge attendance ** and has been helping many people learning their English. The current regular host *** David Mitchell once taught in Xin Dong fang **** for five years. He’s interested to know your stories and the things you’d love to share. Welcome to be our new friend!

More details: contact me on XXXXX.

* The English club has been held for eight years. It's an activity for people to meet and practice speaking English.
** The host Alex promised that he would never charge people who attend our English club for practicing English.
*** Another host of this club.
**** Xindongfang is a language school.

 

[teechar]

Please help me with the following Italic paragraph. It's an introduction [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] to my English club. I want to spread the word [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] about it.

Sha Ping Ba English Corner is an 8-year-old [STRIKE]offline[/STRIKE] English [STRIKE]activity *[/STRIKE] club, where people meet and speak English every week. It was originally held in Chongqing Normal University. The host Alex promised a lifelong free-of-charge [STRIKE]attendance **[/STRIKE] membership and has been helping many people [STRIKE]learning their[/STRIKE] learn English. The current regular host [STRIKE]***[/STRIKE] David Mitchell once taught in Xin Dong Fang [STRIKE]****[/STRIKE] for five years. He’s interested [STRIKE]to know[/STRIKE] in learning about your stories and the things you’d love to share. Welcome to Sha Ping Ba.[STRIKE]be our new friend!
[/STRIKE]
More details: contact me on XXXXX.

* The English club has been [STRIKE]held[/STRIKE] in existence for eight years. It's an [STRIKE]activity[/STRIKE] opportunity for people to meet and practice speaking English.
** The host Alex promised that he would never charge people who attend our English club for practicing English.
*** Another host of this club.
**** Xindongfang is a language school.

.

 

[Silverobama]

I appreciate your perfect corrections, teechar. Also, I was editing my post (spreading the word about it) while you were correcting it.

Two more simple questions.

1) Do I need to add an article before "Sha Ping Ba English Corner", which goes like "The Sha Ping Ba English Corner...."?
2) I wonder if "More details: contact me on XXXX" is also natural. (XXX refers to my contact number.)

 

[teechar]

1. No.
2. Yes.

 

[Silverobama]

Sorry, teechar. I still have two more questions after reading this paragraph.

1) In "The host Alex promised a lifelong free-of-charge", is it better to say ".....promises a...." because new participants are joining us every week when they've heard of the news about our English club. Would "promised" sound like "Alex once promised" but now the club "charges"?

2) In "Welcome to Sha Ping Ba". I wonder if it's better to say "Welcome to our English club" as an ending of the paragraph because "Sha Ping Ba" is a district name too. Because the club was held in Sha Ping Ba, we call club "Sha Ping Ba English Club".

Sorry for many questions today!

 

[teechar]

1- Either is okay. The past tense version can suggest that Alex made that commitment when the club was originally set up.
2- Yes, use "Welcome to our (English) club".

 

[tedmc]

You have stated where the meetings were originally held but not where they are currently held.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

All the suggestions above are good. I'd also use a small i for italics, spell out eight, and put commas around David Mitchell.

 

[teechar]

All the suggestions above are good. I'd also use a small i for italics, spell out eight,

Indeed. Although the etymology of "italics" shows a connection with Italy, the word should not be capitalized.

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't like the opening sentence. Without having any idea what "Sha ping ba" is, I expected "Sha ping ba is an 8-year-old" to be followed by "boy/girl/student". Try this:

Sha ping ba is an English club that was founded in/that has been running since 2012.

 

[Silverobama]

You have stated where the meetings were originally held but not where they are currently held.

Yes. But as an introduction to our English club, I think what it is and how it is like matter instead of the current location. What's more, I said "contact me if one's interested".

 

[Silverobama]

I don't like the opening sentence. Without having any idea what "Sha ping ba" is, I expected "Sha ping ba is an 8-year-old" to be followed by "boy/girl/student". Try this:

Sha ping ba is an English club that was founded in/that has been running since 2012.

I appreciate your help, emsr2d2. But Sha ping ba is not the name of our English club. Our English club is held in Sha ping ba district and we haven't picked a name for it. So, we use Sha ping ba. If one says "Sha ping ba is an English club", others will definitely misunderstand it as the "Sha ping ba district" is an "English club" and that doesn't make any sense.

 

[Tarheel]

Yes. But as an introduction to our English club, I think what it is and how it is like matter instead of the current location. What's more, I said "Contact me if you're interested".

The Tar Heel English Club
:up:

 

[tedmc]

Yes. But as an introduction to our English club, I think what it is and how it is like matter instead of the current location. What's more, I said "contact me if one's interested".

To some people, the venue of the meetings may be the major factor in joining the club.

 

[emsr2d2]

In that case, I'd open with "The Sha ping ba English Club was founded in 2012." The use of the definite article, and putting it all in italics, makes it clear that "Sha ping ba English Club" is the name of the club.