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  1. #1
    theol is offline Junior Member
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    Post GRE Argument Essay

    A recent sales study indicates that consumption of seafood dishes in Bay City restaurants has increased by 30 percent during the past five years. Yet there are no currently operating city restaurants whose specialty is seafood. Moreover, the majority of families in Bay City are two-income families, and a nationwide study has shown that such families eat significantly fewer home-cooked meals than they did a decade ago but at the same time express more concern about healthful eating. Therefore, the new Captain Seafood restaurant that specializes in seafood should be quite popular and profitable.


    Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


    Essay:

    In this argument, the author recommends that Bay City should open a new seafood-specific restaurant which will lead to fame and profit. For approving the conclusion, the author employs a variety of evidence such as statistic data and nationwide study. At first glance, the recommendation sounds reasonable, however, further examination reveals that there maybe other evidence ignored by the author. Without considering all the possibilities, the recommendation may not be persuasive and invulnerable.

    First, a 30% increase in seafood consumption at Bay City does not necessarily illustrate that a high demand on seafood served by restaurants is existing. Although 30% seems significant, the author may ignore the fact that the actual level of consumption of seafood there is rather low. If true, this data is too weak to prove that a new seafood restaurant can bring to profit.

    Second, a nationwide study showing a clear tendency that two-income families toward dining out and eating healthily does not necessarily apply to Bay City. Perhaps, families in here do not prefer this life-style. The author needs to proceed a sound survey in two-income families in Bay City to find out whether its result will support the initial idea.

    Even if most of families in this city follow the nationwide trend mentioned above, it is unfair to infer that these families will select seafood or even seafood restaurant as their first choice. Because other than dining out, ordering take-out food at home is relatively convenient for people who dislike eating in a a noisy and crowed restaurant. Although people may go out for dinner, there are still various kinds of food available for people to pick. Facing all kinds of delicious food, it is hard to imagine people will stick to only seafood. Furthermore, according to the common sense, seafood can not be the only healthy diet, other nutrient food like milk, eggs and vegetables are all can assist people to keep sound. Any of these scenarios discussed above, if true, would cast considerable doubt on the argument's conclusion that a new seafood restaurant in Bay City would be popular and profitable.

    Finally, even if Bay City families surge into the new seafood restaurant, the restaurant may not be popular and profitable. In one thing, Captain Seafood restaurant is rather unfamiliar for the citizens, and as a new brand it may need a long time for people to accept it. Another thing is, profit is a factor relating to not only revenue but also cost. The new restaurant may suffer a deficit when it is establishing its positive images at the beginning. For example, obtaining high-quality, healthy seafood, or promoting the new restaurant both will cost a large fortune. At the same time, if there are rare customers coming to eat, the restaurant will lose a lot.

    To sum up, the proposal lacks credibility to conclude that the new brand seafood restaurant will be popular and profitable for the prediction is based on several shaky and dubious surveys. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to set a new survey which is thorough and comprehensive enough to substantiate the feasibility of opening a brand-new seafood restaurant in Bay City.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: GRE Argument Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by theol View Post
    A recent sales study indicates that consumption of seafood dishes in Bay City restaurants has increased by 30 percent during the past five years. Yet there are no currently operating city restaurants whose specialty is seafood. Moreover, the majority of families in Bay City are two-income families, and a nationwide study has shown that such families eat significantly fewer home-cooked meals than they did a decade ago but at the same time express more concern about healthful eating. Therefore, the new Captain Seafood restaurant that specializes in seafood should be quite popular and profitable.


    Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

    Essay:

    In this argument, the author recommends that Bay City should open a new seafood-specific restaurant which will lead to fame and profit. To arrive at that conclusion, the author employs a variety of evidence such as statistical data and a nationwide study. At first glance, the recommendation sounds reasonable. However, further examination reveals that there maybe other evidence ignored by the author. Without considering all the possibilities, the recommendation may not be persuasive and invulnerable.

    First, a 30% increase in seafood consumption at Bay City does not necessarily illustrate that a high demand on seafood served by restaurants exists. Although 30% seems significant, the author may be ignoring the fact that the actual level of consumption of seafood there is rather low. If true, this data is too weak to prove that a new seafood restaurant can make a profit.

    Second, a nationwide study showing a clear tendency that two-income families have toward dining out and eating healthily does not necessarily apply to Bay City. Perhaps, families there do not prefer this lifestyle. The author needs to produce a sound survey of two-income families in Bay City to find out whether its result will support the initial idea.

    Even if most of families in this city follow the nationwide trend mentioned above, it is unfair to infer that these families will select seafood or even seafood restaurants as their first choice. Because as opposed to dining out, ordering take-out food to eat at home is relatively convenient for people who dislike eating in a a noisy and crowed restaurant. Although people may go out for dinner, there are still various kinds of food available for people to pick. Facing all kinds of delicious food, it is hard to imagine people will stick to only seafood. Furthermore, it is the common sense that seafood cannot be the only healthy dietI. Other nutritious food like milk, eggs and vegetables are healthy. Any of these scenarios discussed above, if true, would cast considerable doubt on the argument's conclusion that a new seafood restaurant in Bay City would be popular and profitable.

    Finally, even if Bay City families surge into the new seafood restaurant, the restaurant may not be popular and profitable. For one thing, Captain Seafood restaurant is rather unfamiliar to people, and as a new brand it may need a long time for people to accept it. Another thing is, profit is a factor relating to not only revenue but also cost. The new restaurant may suffer a deficit when it is establishing its positive images at the beginning. For example, obtaining high-quality, healthy seafood and promoting the new restaurant both will cost a large fortune. At the same time, if there are few customers coming to eat, the restaurant will lose a lot.

    To sum up, the proposal lacks credibility to conclude that the new brand of seafood restaurant will be popular and profitable, for the prediction is based on several shaky and dubious surveys. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to conduct a new survey which is thorough and comprehensive enough to substantiate the feasibility of opening a brand-new seafood restaurant in Bay City.
    There are a few mistakes, but your writing is good.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. #3
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: GRE Argument Essay

    A few more corrections

    Quote Originally Posted by theol View Post
    First, a 30% increase in seafood consumption at Bay City does not necessarily illustrate that a high demand on for seafood served by restaurants is existing.
    Quote Originally Posted by theol View Post
    Even if most of families in this city follow the nationwide trend mentioned above,
    Learn how to use "most" and "most of"
    https://www.englishgrammar.org/grammar-exercise-18/

    Quote Originally Posted by theol View Post
    Facing With all kinds of delicious food to choose from, it is hard to imagine people will stick to only seafood. Furthermore, according to the it is common sense that seafood can not be the only healthy diet. Other nutrient foods like milk, eggs and vegetables are also nutritious. all can assist people to keep sound. Any of these scenarios discussed above, if true, would cast considerable doubt on the argument's conclusion that a new seafood restaurant in Bay City would be popular and profitable.
    Quote Originally Posted by theol View Post
    The new restaurant may suffer a deficit when it is establishing its positive images at the beginning.
    Quote Originally Posted by theol View Post
    To sum up, the proposal lacks credibility to conclude that the a new brand seafood restaurant will be popular and profitable, for the prediction is based on several shaky and dubious surveys.
    Note that, except perhaps in literary or some other specialized contexts, "for" is no longer used to mean "because". Use "as", "since" or "because" instead. Note also the comma.

  4. #4
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: GRE Argument Essay

    Does Bay City operate restaurants?
    Not a professional teacher

  5. #5
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: GRE Argument Essay

    We don't say the new restaurant may suffer a deficit. We say they may lose money at first.

    Both Charlie and teechar made numerous corrections. I suggest that you study them carefully.
    Not a professional teacher

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