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  1. #1
    rodgers white is offline Senior Member
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    ...creating new varieties...

    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** *******************************************

    Qingmei was invited to many more story nights and spent more and more time over at Yang’s home, soon becoming privy to the meteorite dream. Both Gan and Jingying had no trouble trusting Qingmei with the secret of that dream and its meaning. Qingmei didn’t even mention it to her parents, who had shown little more than passing interest in Lanhua’s visions.

    About a year later, Yang married Qingmei, and almost exactly ten months after that, Qingmei gave birth to a girl. No one was surprised of course, but that did not prevent the excitement that a new baby engenders to such situations. They named their baby Suxin, because when Qingmei was first pregnant, it seemed to her that almost everything smelled of the fragrance.

    Yang, although a hunter, and despite never having met his grandfather, was more like him than even his father was when it came to invention and science. Gan had taught his son as much about engineering and science as he could remember. Most of it was too advanced for the technological level of the village. Yang used it to build cleverly designed toys for his daughter, and to irrigate their yard in which Qingmei grew many vegetables and fruits. She also turned some of it into a flower garden, becoming quite adept at creating new varieties of flowers, fruits, and vegetables.
    Three passions have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    Charlie Bernstein is offline VIP Member
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    Re: ...creating new varieties...

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

    ************************************************** *******************************************

    Qingmei was invited to many more story nights and spent more and more time over at Yang’s home, soon becoming privy to the meteorite dream. Both Gan and Jingying had no trouble trusting Qingmei with the secret of that dream and its meaning. Qingmei didn’t even mention it to her parents, who had shown little more than passing interest in Lanhua’s visions.

    About a year later, Yang married Qingmei, and almost exactly ten months after that, Qingmei gave birth to a girl. No one was surprised, of course, but that did not prevent the excitement that a new baby engenders in such situations. They named their baby Suxin, because when Qingmei was first pregnant, it seemed to her that almost everything smelled of the fragrance.

    Yang, although a hunter, and despite never having met his grandfather, was more like him than even his father was when it came to invention and science. Gan had taught his son as much about engineering and science as he could remember. Most of it was too advanced for the technological level of the village. Yang used it to build cleverly designed toys for his daughter, and to irrigate their garden, where Qingmei grew many vegetables and fruits. She also turned some of it into a flower garden, becoming quite adept at creating new varieties of flowers, fruits, and vegetables.
    Good! You've conquered your run-ons!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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